Every woman’s pregnancy is different, and a unique experience. There is no need for others to give their gyaan and scare her. Let the woman, her partner, and her doctor handle it all.
The moment a woman is pregnant there is a plethora of suggestions and advice that comes her way. Everybody around tells her what to do and what not to do. The people close to her take maximum effort not to let her stress or take any tension.
Among these useful suggestions, there also come a few that are not very helpful, and even troublesome and distressing.
Every pregnant woman will vouch for the fact that she has heard some most bizarre and terrible things from others. Sadly most of these things are from other women. The negative things and comments during pregnancy are even more disturbing and stressful.
From my experience, I planned to pen down some of the things that one should never say to a pregnant lady.
Every woman who has ever been pregnant will confess to the fact that she has heard a few horror stories about the pregnancy itself, delivery, and much else. A lot of times these are from people you consider close, and from whom you least expect them.
Every pregnancy is different and hence a terrible experience that one woman had cannot be applicable to another. Stories about miscarriages, stillbirths, difficult labour, emergency procedures are always shared first, rather than any positive stories. A very few women actually will motivate with their positive pregnancy experiences. The negative ones do not help at al,l and do nothing more than adding on to the stress.
Every pregnant lady will have a different size and shape of baby bump, depending on so many factors.
A common comment made is about the bump being too big or too small, and relating it to improper growth of the baby. If the mom-to-be is regularly going to a doctor / midwife for check-ups, they are certainly keeping a tab on the health of the foetus. So such comments do nothing more than stress out the mother, which is completely unnecessary for her at this stage.
Pregnancy is a difficult journey, especially with numerous hormonal changes that are happening in a woman’s body. With changing skin, changes in the breast, weight gain, and the mood swings, many women are already unhappy with their body.
Commenting about how she is putting on weight and how difficult it could be to get back in shape will do harm to her self-esteem. She is nurturing a life within herself, and does not need any unsolicited stressor at this moment.
Having a natural or assisted birth depends on a lot of factors. I personally faced comments where someone passed judgement on, and speculated about how my delivery will be, only because I am a plus size woman. It is not a very pleasant feeling and I did have many self-doubts. It took a lot of effort to get my motivation back.
So, let the woman, her doctor, and her partner think about the birth – no-one else has any business doing that.
Pregnancy is a beautiful journey and every pregnant woman has her set of anxieties already. If you really care for someone it is better not to add anything to her stress. If your sentence starts with “I don’t want to scare you, but….”, It’s better not to say it.
It is her experience so let her treasure it. All that a pregnant woman needs is positivity and motivation. It’s important to be sensitive while communicating with her. Within all the changes happening in her body and mind, it is very crucial to give her the comforting atmosphere where she is at peace.
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