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The recent murder of Shailza Dwivedi which made newspaper headlines is a gruesome example of ‘love’ turning into obsession. This is not the first time an innocent life was lost because a woman spurred a man’s unwanted advances.
As per the reports, Shailza met her alleged killer Major Handa on a social networking site and became friendly with him. He however fell in love with her and pursued her relentlessly. Shailza was married and not interested in furthering their relationship which angered him.
On that fateful day he called her for a meeting and proposed marriage to her. When she refused, he slit her throat in a fit of rage and then ran his car over her to show the murder as an accident.
The only mistake if any that Shailza made was not recognising his obsessive traits in the very beginning and she paid for it with her life. This is not the first time an innocent life was lost because a woman spurred a man’s unwanted advances and it will certainly not be the last.
Jealousy and possessiveness are dangerous emotions and if not checked, can become ugly. In the beginning of a relationship, they are seen as natural and even adorable. The true risks of these emotions come ahead later.
These traits are usually displayed by men who are insecure and are unable to take ‘no’ for an answer. They believe that if a woman has shown the slightest interest in the beginning or has been polite and friendly then she is leading him on. If she backs out later, then she is only playing ‘hard to get’. The fact that she may not be interested or may have changed her mind is preposterous to them and they believe that she should pay for ‘wronging them’.
There are many signs that can help you understand if you are heading into an abusive relationship which may become hazardous:
The best way to deal with such a situation is to end this ‘friendship’ at the earliest. It’s also ideal to not agree to meet this person alone or at lonely places. People with such behavioural traits ad a sense of entitlement are prone to fits of rage and may commit unpredictable, rash acts.
In a relationship, at any point of time, both the partners have a right to change their minds and move on. If one of the partners is obsessed and shows threatening behaviour at such a suggestion then it’s time to involve outside people, like family members for your own safety. If it helps then one should even involve the law enforcement for complete safety, although it has to be said that the response of police in India to such complaints is often not helpful.
Do not take obsessive behaviour lightly – more often than not it has proved to be fatal.
Image via vecteezy.com
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