If you want to understand how to become better allies to people with disabilities, then join us at Embracing All Abilities: Including People with Disabilities at Work.
Never has he taken any initiative to make me feel special. He doesn’t care if I look good or bad. He does not even care to look up from his laptop and take a note of my existence in the same room! Even if I ask him about my dress he lies, saying it looks great".
“Never has he taken any initiative to make me feel special. He doesn’t care if I look good or bad. He does not even care to look up from his laptop and take a note of my existence in the same room! Even if I ask him about my dress he lies, saying it looks great”.
‘…And he always argues!’
My friend went on complaining about her husband. They had got married nearly a year ago. I was patiently listening to everything she was saying. However, she was so angry, that I barely could connect the dots in her speech and comprehend what was the problem exactly.
“Never has he taken any initiative to make me feel special. He doesn’t care if I look good or bad. He does not even care to look up from his laptop and take a note of my existence in the same room! Even if I ask him about my dress he lies, saying it looks great! And I know it was not looking great! I was testing him. He simply lies all the time!”
This time she jumped from the ‘argument-part’ to the ‘less-importance-given-to-her’ part. I had been listening to her for the past half an hour, therefore, I could perhaps guess that she will swiftly take a leap from the current topic to another one. And she did.
“Last night I asked him how is the food. I had made it with a lot of effort, but as usual, he spoiled everything! He said it could have been better. How insensitive can a person be! Could he not say its good? Could he not say that I loved it no matter however you make?”
Before I could utter a word of condolence she continued with her resentment. But, by this time the anger had reached the upper-most echelons of her temperament.
“You know what? Sometimes I feel I should just walk away because there is no use!There is absolutely no use in explaining things to him. He doesn’t understand. Oh sorry, maybe he understands, but pretends not to understand. I don’t know what should I do.No matter how hard I try to be calm, he makes me go so insane with his activities that I just want to scream at the top of my voice and TELL HIM TO SIMPLY LEAVE“.
I knew this was coming. I knew her pitch would be raised gradually and dangerously. So, I had kept the phone away from my ears. Moreover, she was not making sense anymore.
There was a brief period of silence. I understood that it was now my turn to speak.
As I sighed, as a response to her vexation and started comforting her, I heard soft whimpers. She was crying and I was totally helpless. Being 1389 kilometers away from her, all I could do was to make her feel good by simply talking.
But, what shall I tell her? Shall I tell her she is right and he is wrong? Or shall I defend him? Shall I tell her some popular sayings on how silly men are? Maybe, I should tell her, every couple fight and its normal. But, the last time I said this to her, she got even sadder saying that, “I never thought we were a normal couple, we used to be the best. We had such good times and now everything has changed”.
Completely perplexed, I ended up saying, “Don’t worry sweetheart, things will be fine. Just hope for the best”.
As I looked at the phone call duration, it showed almost an hour’s time. I had to rush back to my seat before my boss came up. We greeted each other goodbye and cut the call.
A few days later, one sunny Saturday, I woke up with several pings on my cell phone. I opened the Whatsapp and was amazed to look at the photos, my much-in-distress friend had sent me. They were vacationing at some beautiful place.
I promptly texted her to know what was up? She replied, “I just hoped for the best and I guess it worked well”.
I always kept saying others to hope for the best, but this was the first time, I saw it work.
Image Source: Pixabay
As a Singapore based Senior Software Engineer, published co-author and a freelance writer, who loves to write about women, wellbeing and technology. read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
What I loved was how there is so much in the movie of the SRK we have known, and also a totally new star. The gestures, the smile, the wit and the charisma are all too familiar, but you also witness a rawness, an edginess.
When a movie that got the entire nation in a twist – for the right and wrong reasons – hits the theatres, there is bound to be noise. From ‘I am going to watch it – first day first show’ to ‘Boycott the movie and make it a flop’, social media has been a furore of posts.
Let me get one thing straight here – I did not watch Pathaan to make a statement or to simply rebel as people would put it. I went to watch it for the sheer pleasure of witnessing my favourite superstar in all his glory being what he is best at being – his magnificent self. Because when it comes to screen presence, he burns it, melts it and then resurrects it as well like no other. Because when it comes to style and passion, he owns it like a boss. Because SRK is, in a way, my last connecting point to the girl that I once was. Though I have evolved into so many more things over the years, I don’t think I am ready to let go of that girl fully yet.
There is no elephant in the room really here because it’s a fact that Bollywood has a lot of cleaning up to do. Calling out on all the problematic aspects of the industry is important and in doing that, maintaining objectivity is also equally imperative. I went for Pathaan for entertainment and got more than I had hoped for. It is a clever, slick, witty, brilliantly packaged action movie that delivers what it promises to. Logic definitely goes flying out of the window at times and some scenes will make you go ‘kuch bhi’ , but the screenplay clearly reminds you that you knew all along what you were in for. The action sequences are lavish and someone like me who is not exactly a fan of this genre was also mind blown.
When Jaya Bachchan speaks her mind in public she is often accused of being brusque and even abrasive. Can we think of her prodigious talent and all the bitter pills she has had to swallow over the years?
A couple of days ago, a short clip of a 1998 interview of Jaya and Amitabh Bachchan resurfaced on social media. In this episode of the Simi Grewal chat show, at about the 23-minute mark, Jaya lists her husband’s priorities: one, parents, two kids, then wife. Then she corrects herself: his profession – and perhaps someone else – ranks above her as a wife.
Amitabh looks visibly uncomfortable at this unstated but unambiguous reference to his rather well-publicised affair with co-star Rekha back in the day.
Watching the classic film Abhimaan some years ago, one scene really stayed with me. It was something Brajeshwarlal (David’s character) says in troubled tones during the song tere mere milan ki yeh raina. He says something to the effect that Uma (Jaya Bhaduri’s character) is more talented than Subir (Amitabh Bachchan’s character) and that this was a problem since society teaches us that men are superior to women.
Please enter your email address