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Marriage may no longer be for keeps. But this is why I think it is worthwhile to work at a marriage - 5 practical reasons to be married forever other than for love.
Marriage may no longer be for keeps. But this is why I think it is worthwhile to work at a marriage – 5 practical reasons to be married forever other than for love.
Marriage translates love into live action. Choosing marriage usually means making a life choice of fidelity and commitment. Being with the same man for thirty years has its downside but the pros outweigh the cons by a mile.
The fact that I love him is the most obvious reason to be married, but many a friend has questioned the floundering states of their long term marriages and I find myself playing counsellor and guide. The reasons to make it work go beyond the morality and heavenly vows.
Staying married is the most practical choice, however unromantic that sounds. Let us see why.
You have grown up together. The person knows your core, your nuances, the youthful you. Nobody can replace the value of that knowledge. As we grow older, our barriers increase and our masks slip into place. Explaining the history of yourself is just a narration, not a shared experience.
This is an area which seems to disturb most people. We have had those crazy days filled with ardour. The order changes and so have we. Passion has been replaced by a comfort zone that feels like home. A new romance will bring passion, temporarily. That too will change. There is no guarantee that the new relationship will last the distance. Our bodies are older. We are older. It is time to get wiser and realise this.
There is a bond created over years of togetherness, after much adjustment. The in-laws, the children, the friends. A lot of compromise and caring has gone into building these relationships. Giving up on your partner involves losing many of these equations.
As we age, the capacity for tolerance and compromise deteriorates. We get set in our habits and behaviour. Reinventing the wheel with someone requires loads of effort and it just seems harder, the older we get. Imagine having to deal with the irritating habits of another person all over again.
This is one of the primary reasons to work things out. As time progresses, we see an increasing amount of tragedy, ill health and loss. The relationship has lasted the distance and at the final stretch, one needs the security and support of the partner more than ever.
Marriage is about companionship. It is about acceptance. It is about being the sounding board and the punching bag. Stay in love. Tweak your definition of love to embrace the sort of deep caring which only evolves over a period of time. Just because you love someone, does not make you immune to temptation but the grass is not necessarily greener out there. If you are with a good person who loves you, you are truly blessed. Watching the silver in each other’s hair is the pot of gold at the end of this rainbow. Do not let the threat of a few dark clouds steal the enduring beauty of marriage.
Published here earlier.
Header image is a screenshot from Toilet Ek Premkatha
Alisha "Priti" Kirpalani is the author of "Out With Lanterns" a genre-breaking novel about the discovery of life, love and everything in between and "A Smattering of Darkness" a collection of short and shorter read more...
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In a recent interview, Shahid Kapoor said he finally figured marriage all out. According to him, a woman marries a man to ‘fix’ a messy life!
Shahid Kapoor shared his thoughts on marriage in an interview with Film Companion. He said he finally figured it (marriage) all out. Marriage is how a woman enters a man’s life to ‘fix’ him.
“This entire marriage thing is about one thing: it is that the guy was a mess and the woman came in to fix him. So the rest of his life is going to be a journey of him getting fixed and becoming a decent person. That’s pretty much what life is about.”
But this is not the only problematic thing Kapoor said. When asked about which role of his, Mira Rajput, liked the best – actor or dad, he gave a not-so-funny answer. He said he’s not sure, but he’d hoped she liked some part of him.
I realized that my journey wasn't just about my growth and self-discovery; it was also an opportunity for those around me to learn and evolve.
CW: Mention of Suicidal Ideation and Depression
In the depths of my soul, I am Jessica Care Moore. This is the story of my journey, a tale of resilience and self-discovery that has shaped the person I am today.
From the tender age of 13, I found solace and joy in wearing female clothes. In the secret corners of my world, I would slip into my mother’s garments and gaze at my reflection, my lips adorned with her lipstick. I loved myself as a girl, and that love was pure and unwavering.
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