Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!
Yes, you read that right! The other woman in my husband's life and I thank God for her existence! Want to know who it is? Read on!
Yes, you read that right! The other woman in my husband’s life and I thank God for her existence! Want to know who it is? Read on!
The concept of the other woman in our country is quite dreaded or subjected to hatred. But here the other woman who crowns my husband’s life is someone for whom I have anything but hatred. She is someone who inspires me, teaches me to love and only love people around me. She by her attributes deviates from a relationship that is so controversial in our country, by bringing in a great sense of joy and happiness.
The other woman whom I am referring here is my husband’s mother, my mother in law (the relation who is expected to be anything but good) or Amma as we all lovingly address her.
Post marriage, a few of my friends and acquaintances had instilled in me a belief that when you enter your husband’s or in laws’ house, you are already a stranger primarily due to biological reasons, more so when you are from a culture that isn’t theirs! So as a bride I was quite apprehensive if not unhappy, but Amma was the one who came to my rescue each time. Till date the ritual goes unbroken; sometimes I feel I am better understood by her than my own mother or my husband.
This write-up may not go down well with many, who by virtue of either their experience or by assumptions, may label me as too idealistic. But there can’t be anything more realistic than this post.
Amma stays far away from any negative, stereotypical notions that are associated with a “mother in law“. She is a calm and warm person, very modern in her thoughts. She exudes love and care.
The discussions that we both have always end up opening new ideas for me, making me believe in goodness again. It might sound funny or strange to some when I say, Amma does not understand the meaning of jealousy! She is perhaps one of those few people who believe that humans can’t be evil. If they seem to be, they are the victims of circumstances. I often ask her to be on her guard with strangers, but all in vain! For Amma is herself, who in these 60 years of her life, has always believed in human nature.
Being the first born in the family makes me quite a favorite with my parents, wherein I have the liberty and space to share every bit of my life (which I have done) with them. But now, I feel Amma has gradually yet quite deftly taken up a major chunk of my mother’s share in acting as my guide, friend, someone who is a one stop solution for me. Amma acts as the referee, whose final warning makes it essential that my husband and I stop any argument. And let me tell you something here, she never has a biased approach, a rarity these days.
The title rightly suggests, “The other woman in my husband’s life”, for she is someone whom I love to acknowledge and accept. For she is someone who has raised such a gentleman and I can’t thank her enough. The reason that I am subjected to immense love and respect is all because Amma has nurtured my husband to believe in so. Today if my husband is an exemplary figure amongst his peers, is all because of his upbringing.
Amma’s life has had its share of ups and downs but she has remained undeterred; her patience and fortitude has stood the test of time. She has not been quite privileged or celebrated in her life but that does not prevent her from being happy in my happiness.
The friends and acquaintances who had cautioned me about the inevitable change in relationship dynamics post marriage, could not survive the test of time but Amma has. Thus being undaunted, I unfriended such folk and befriended the ones who saw the goodness and genuity in my Amma’s eyes.
People ask me don’t I love my own biological mother? Oh yes I do, I surely do. But is it weird if I love my mother in law and take both my mother’s and her name in the same breath? Who challenges that? And why would anyone do that?
Amma, the other vital woman in my husband’s life, I can never thank you enough for raising the man of my dreams. You are a constant reminder that it is not always the relationships based on blood that are the happiest, there are some outside, built by people like you, who accept others and turn them into their own, smile in their happiness and love them no matter what.
Amma, I thank God for being so biased and sending you for us, to be the best mother my husband could ask for but more than that, the best friend that I could ever dream of.
Image source: shutterstock
A dire penchant for words, can summarize my life as “My pen bleeds my life”! read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
Please enter your email address