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None of us are immune to rejection. The pain of rejection can overwhelm us. But here is what you need to know to overcome that pain.
It doesn’t matter where you are in life, and whether it’s ending a marriage or breaking up with a partner. Even the strongest of us can’t help but feel like we did something wrong when the person we loved and cared about and spent our lives with as a partner suddenly doesn’t want to be with us anymore.
“Why don’t they love me anymore?”
“What did I do wrong?”
“What’s wrong with me?”
“What could I have done differently?”
These thoughts — the “shoulda coulda woulda” thoughts that hijack our brains and healing — have a nasty way of creeping up on us as we try to regain our confidence and self-esteem. Many times, we think that we are to blame for the fact that our relationship ended. That self-blame usually leads us to feel rejected, like we are not worthy of love as we start this new chapter in our lives.
It’s time we start looking at rejection in a different way — one that will empower us instead of a stupid feeling that continues to hold us down and questions ourselves and steal us of our self-worth.
So, the next time you are feeling bad because of a recent rejection — whether it is from the end of your long marriage, or because the person you were dating and liked decided not to return your calls, or if you do not get hired for the job you were hoping for, remember the following.
You know the ones I’m talking about—whenever you go to a carnival or a visit a beach boardwalk—two activities that many of you may enjoy this summer—you may pass one a long mirror that you may stop in front of.
What do you see there? Do you see your smiling reflection looking back? The one that reflects the wise and strong person you are?
Nope — instead, you see this warped vision of yourself, with a stretched-out head or shortened legs, and you look silly. It’s not you. And it’s not a reflection of you. You know this, so you probably just laugh and continue enjoying yourself.
Rejection is the same thing. The fact that somebody doesn’t want to be with you anymore has nothing to do with you — it has everything to do with the craziness the rejecter is projecting on to you. Their rejection is that stupid fun-house mirror. And your reaction to that rejection — the one where you wonder what you did wrong, or why they don’t love you anymore, is nothing more than the silly stretched head and widened body you see in the silly mirror.
It’s not you. It’s not your reflection. So instead of just standing in front of the mirror, worrying how it makes you look, go ahead and step away from it, because it has nothing to do with you.
Instead of staying in the prison of rejection, thinking that it defines who you are, you move away from it, focus on what makes you feel good, what you are proud of in this life, and everything that you have accomplished.
Once you focus on yourself, there’s something very important you need to understand. It’s a secret about rejection that many don’t know, and few know how to integrate.
When I think of all the times I was rejected, at the time I thought my world was ending. But now I realize these things were actually a HUGE blessing in disguise.
A few months ago, I was laid off from a job because the corporate big-wigs said I wasn’t needed anymore. But looking back, I knew that rejection actually served me well because it meant I was leaving a company that no longer valued me, and it was giving me a chance to pursue work that was more professionally and spiritually satisfying. If that rejection hadn’t happened, who knows? I’d probably still be there, unhappy and unfulfilled.
Years ago, I was dumped by somebody I was dating and I remember feeling like my world had ended. But that rejection turned out to be a blessing in disguise because being out of that relationship helped me realize how unhealthy and controlling it had been, spending time with someone who did not deserve my love.
And the rejections that you are dealing with at this time in your life, although varied, are actually the same at their core. The rejection of your partner not wanting to be in that relationship anymore, or that person not returning your calls, or that boss that doesn’t appreciate you who is letting you go, is actually the universe saying, “Hey! You deserve better than this BS! Consider this your wake-up call to go and work on yourself, find out what makes you happy, and establish your independence!
As you learn to live each day mindfully, what better gift is there?
Image source: pexels
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Martha Bodyfelt is a divorce coach whose website, Surviving Your Split, helps women navigate their divorce with less stress and drama so they can move on with their lives. For your free Divorce Warrior Survival read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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What I loved was how there is so much in the movie of the SRK we have known, and also a totally new star. The gestures, the smile, the wit and the charisma are all too familiar, but you also witness a rawness, an edginess.
When a movie that got the entire nation in a twist – for the right and wrong reasons – hits the theatres, there is bound to be noise. From ‘I am going to watch it – first day first show’ to ‘Boycott the movie and make it a flop’, social media has been a furore of posts.
Let me get one thing straight here – I did not watch Pathaan to make a statement or to simply rebel as people would put it. I went to watch it for the sheer pleasure of witnessing my favourite superstar in all his glory being what he is best at being – his magnificent self. Because when it comes to screen presence, he burns it, melts it and then resurrects it as well like no other. Because when it comes to style and passion, he owns it like a boss. Because SRK is, in a way, my last connecting point to the girl that I once was. Though I have evolved into so many more things over the years, I don’t think I am ready to let go of that girl fully yet.
There is no elephant in the room really here because it’s a fact that Bollywood has a lot of cleaning up to do. Calling out on all the problematic aspects of the industry is important and in doing that, maintaining objectivity is also equally imperative. I went for Pathaan for entertainment and got more than I had hoped for. It is a clever, slick, witty, brilliantly packaged action movie that delivers what it promises to. Logic definitely goes flying out of the window at times and some scenes will make you go ‘kuch bhi’ , but the screenplay clearly reminds you that you knew all along what you were in for. The action sequences are lavish and someone like me who is not exactly a fan of this genre was also mind blown.
Recent footage of her coming out of an airport had comments preaching karma and its cruel ways, that Samantha "deserved her illness" because she filed for divorce.
Samantha Ruth Prabhu fell from being the public’s sweetheart to a villain overnight because she filed for divorce. The actress was struck with myositis post divorce, much to the joy of certain groups (read sexist) in our society.
A troll responded to Samantha’s tweet, “Women Rising!!” by adding to it “just to fall”. She replied, “Getting back up makes it all the more sweeter, my friend.”
Here’s another insensitive tweet by BuzZ Basket showing fake concern for her autoimmune disease. “Feeling sad for Samantha, she lost all her charm and glow. When everyone thought she came out of divorce strongly and her professional life was seeing heights, myositis hit her badly, making her weak again.” Samantha responded, “I pray you never have to go through months of treatment and medication like I did. And here’s some love from me to add to your glow.”
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