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Every mom dreads those toddler tantrums. There is no magic pill which can fix them altogether, and I bet you feel thankful once the phase passes.
This glorious development phase lasts roughly for two years but it leaves a whole lot of memories for parents to cherish for a lifetime. I feel this is the most loving and adoring stage as well as the most challenging and tiring one. At the same time as these little ones are gradually forming a sense of self and developing the conviction to face the unfamiliar world outside the coziness and warmth of their mother’s lap.
We mothers need to put in all our energy and patience for our tiny tots as they put up new faces, new expressions and all new issues to decipher everyday.
While some toddlers give a tough time by creating trouble at meal times, some drain their mothers by giving them sleepless nights for months together, whereas others even confuse and at times even annoy their mothers with a nuclear meltdown over silly stuff.
Throwing tantrums as we call it comes like a flash and very typically manifest as crying screaming or flailing and many of you would agree that these can be really nerve wrecking for parents, especially us mothers.
I am sure each mother has her own share of sweet and annoying experiences to relate when it comes to dealing with toddlers. Commonly known as ‘terrible twos’, it is the time when emotions and preferences play strong but rationality is yet to set in.
As a mother of three young children I can tell you how annoying it can get when my toddlers throw these unexpected tantrums for god knows what.
When my older one (now seven) was in the prime of toddlerhood I used to blame myself a lot for her breakdowns and would wonder all the time “what is it that I am doing wrong” that makes her go berserk. But with time it dawned on me that my child is not a wreck nor am I being a bad parent. It’s just that we both are doing our part and a tantrum is something that just happens when dealing with toddlers.
Now that my second one is in this oh so wonderful phase of ‘terrible twos’ I see myself as a pro at weathering such uncalled for tantrums. Even so, this adorable almost three year old of mine with all her cuteness and loving smile is very much capable of getting on my nerves.
As I finish attending to her needs and put her to play, out of nowhere comes this shrieking and loud crying. Worried, as I rush to check on her, she would be in the same place as I left her with her eyes closed and big tears welling out of them as she cries at the top of her voice all for a little piece of cookie which she happened to drop behind the TV cabinet. Just one of those reasons which triggers the so called toddler tantrums.
Lucky her, if I am sane at that moment. Otherwise even this small reason would set me off. My trick here is to divert her from the point which is bothering her and lure her to something that interests her, say her favorite toy, a colorful book or the best of all, lollipops (this has worked for me so far, hope it continues) and gradually cheer her up, all with the hope that the tantrum won’t start all over again.
I try all the time not to lose my cool as it does no good when dealing with toddlers but there are days when I find myself on the edge and my poor little one seems to be on the receiving end. Those would be the days when (ahem) PMS takes the best of me. Even a little cry from her would render me frantic and it so happens that I end up spanking her a time or two.
The mother in me here knows this helps neither of us and needless to mention there is the mommy guilt which follows. I end up feeling like a horrible mother who could not hold back her emotions with her little one. When she is in the throes of rage it kind of takes me on as well. The frustration builds up on both the sides as I brace myself to deal with the toddler tantrums. Sometimes just hugs can fix them but at times all goes in vain.
But crazy as I may sound, at times I even snap pictures or record videos of them when the wails just seem to go the pointless, never ending way. This is just to give my dear husband a glimpse of how my days are all the time and how I deal with these toddler tantrums when he is not around.
We all, as mothers go through this mommy guilt before crashing down for the day when our restless little bundles are snoozing in their beds. That is the time when the world comes to a halt around us and all we could do is nothing but adore our tiny sleeping beauties.
At this time of the day, all the emotions come rushing to me. I pour out all my love, talk to her and of course apologize to my adorable little pie for showing my frustration when handling her toddler tantrums with anger, while she is snoring peacefully as though saying; Don’t worry mummy, it’s just a phase.
So mommies, to survive the difficult times of toddler tantrums, step back for a while. Try appreciating the humour and remind yourself that this is just a phase that won’t last forever. Love them, laugh with them and create memories to look back.
Image source: pixabay
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