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4 Ways To Deal With Envy – This Destructive Emotion Really Messes Up Your Mind

Posted: April 21, 2017

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Have you experienced the feeling of envy? Fret not – most of us human beings are sometimes subject to this resentful and embittering emotion.

What is envy?

Envy is defined as, “A feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions, qualities, or luck.” 

If someone is doing better than you, getting opportunities that you wish for, you think you are falling behind. You feel sad, depressed, irritated, bitter, and your mind can’t accept it.

How prone are you to envy?

Imagine these scenarios.

  • A friend becomes the topper of the college, and you think, “She’s doing so well. Where am I?” Suddenly it clicks in your mind that that person is horrible, and you feel better the next moment.
  • Your colleague gets a promotion that you were wishing for. You feel upset and angry, and pray for him to fail.
  • At a party, you found someone who is the center of attraction. You want to be in their place, but you cannot be. You feel disheartened and then you think, “I’ll bet they’re superficial and a show-off!”

Does this feel familiar? Have you been in situations like these and felt these things? Then you are prone to envy.

What does envy do?

Envy can either make you feel depressed or angry. When someone in your circle is successful, then you feel down, lost in your life. You take their success personally, and it can be seen in your behaviour to them.

Envy can make you angry in another way. You become bitter in your thinking. You want the person to fall down. You might criticize them from personal to the professional level.

But then what’s jealousy? How is it different?

Envy is different from jealousy. In my opinion, if your personal relationship is in danger, what you feel is jealousy. “She’s flirting with him.”

On the other hand, you experience a danger to your status when you are feeling envious. “He’s more successful than I am. That makes me feel like a loser.”

Yes, you can envy someone about whom you are jealous. “She has the qualities I wish I had. That’s why my partner is attracted to her.”

Dealing with envy

Here are some points about how you can get control over your envy and turn it into a success.

Be optimistic. Motivate yourself to change your perspective towards anything happened in your circle. You can do better than this.

Don’t worry about winning or losing. Don’t get affected by another’s success. Why should it bother you? Continue doing what you need to do yourself.

Compete only with yourself. What do you get if you criticize someone’s success, or think that you are standing far behind? This gesture will pull down your confidence level. Instead, compare yourself only to yourself. Try to do something better the next time.

Banish that negativity. Scrub out the negative thoughts that boost up your envy. When you hear about someone’s success, stop thinking, “I must be a loser as they are doing so well” or “It’s unjust—they don’t deserve it!” How could you be a loser because of someone else success? Try to be resilient, be optimistic, and play a fair game.

Get a control over your envy and free yourself from any negative thoughts that bring depression, bitterness, anger, restlessness, and humiliation.

Published here earlier.

Image source: pixabay

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