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Enough of expecting moms to give up on the simple pleasures in the name of sacrifice! After all, they have a right to have fun as much as every one else.
“When was the last time you saw your mom giggle like a girl” – I saw this caption in one of the Amazon advertisements lately, where a girl gifted a pair of skates to her mother as a token of remembrance of the childhood memories they shared when they used to skate together.
The very thought of the caption made me ponder upon the fact that do our moms really feel the need to be like a girl? What is it that they are missing out on in their lives ? It is said that along with a child’s birth, a mother is also born. Being a mother is considered to be God’s greatest blessing.
An independent girl, who has just received her best gift in her lap, in the wake of motherhood, will do anything to ensure that her baby is fine – Be it nursing the baby to changing diapers, to helping the child take the first step and her several attempts to make her baby say “MAMA” before he could say “PAPA”!
But in this journey of being the best mother to her child, she forgets about her aspirations, her dreams, her needs and even herself. On one hand, she is aware in some corner of her heart that may be, she has missed out on a lot of things, and that she could have done a lot better with her life given the opportunity; but on the other hand, there is some sort of contentment in her when she looks at her baby despite the multiple sacrifices.
That’s what makes her a “MOTHER”, I don’t know what kind of hormones run through them once they become a mother. It must be some chemical change in their body, otherwise it takes a hell of a lot of patience to bear the menace of a baby, and also manage the big baby (husband!) at the same time.
We live as a family in the same house, but many a times we forget that there lives a lady (a mother), who has worked day and night just to make our lives better, and has given up on things we cannot imagine in our entire life, which she perfectly hides in her smile. The unnoticeable sacrifices are not even counted, like:
She has had enough now, don’t you think so? Do you think everything is fine if it continues to be the same? In that case you should also be prepared for all this when it’s your turn. And if not, then its the time to tell your MOM to be a GIRL again.
Tell her to have some “me time“, where she could take time out to do whatever she wanted, without any justification or explanation. Be with her when she is trying to use her first smart phone, go shopping with her and let her shop for herself, go have coffee with her in any coffee shop, do the girly things together, go for a long drive, plan a trip for her with her best girl friends and let her go.
She was a girl before she became a mother and there still lives a girl inside her. Let her be that girl again. You would love it.
Love you MOM.
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Published here earlier.
Image source: shutterstock
Optimistic, care free, keen observer and feminist. Enjoy traveling, dancing, painting, movies and music. Pets and nature excites me.
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Shows like Indian Matchmaking only further the argument that women must adhere to social norms without being allowed to follow their hearts.
When Netflix announced that Indian Matchmaking (2020-present) would be renewed for a second season, many of us hoped for the makers of the show to take all the criticism they faced seriously. That is definitely not the case because the show still continues to celebrate regressive patriarchal values.
Here are a few of the gendered notions that the show propagates.
A mediocre man can give himself a 9.5/10 and call himself ‘the world’s most eligible bachelor’, but an independent and successful woman must be happy with receiving just 60-70% of what she feels she deserves.
Darlings makes some excellent points about domestic violence . For such a movie to not follow through with a resolution that won't be problematic, is disappointing.
I watched Darlings last weekend, staying on top of its release on Netflix. It was a long-awaited respite from the recent flicks. I wanted badly to jump into its praise and will praise it, for something has to be said for the powerhouse performances it is packed with. But I will not be able to in a way that I really had wanted to.
I wanted to say that this is a must-watch on domestic violence that I stand behind and a needed and nuanced social portrayal. But unfortunately, I can’t. For I found Darlings to be deeply problematic when it comes to the portrayal of domestic violence and how that should be dealt with.
Before we rush to the ‘you must be having a problem because a man was hit’ or ‘much worse happens to women’ conclusions, that is not what my issue is. I have seen the praises and criticisms, and the criticisms of criticisms. I know, from having had close associations with non-profits and activists who fight domestic violence not just in India but globally, that much worse happens to women. I have written a book with case studies and statistics on that. Neither do I have any moral qualms around violence getting tackled with violence (that will be another post some day).