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Maybe it is time we do not judge other women for their choices and let them decide what it is they want? Even as women ourselves?
While everyone talks about equality and respect for women, there is one thing we do not need in a world already hostile towards women – women judging other women. Whether it is about marriage, clothes, choice of profession or family preferences; we are under constant scrutiny of fellow women. It is bad enough that men and patriarchy dictate our choices.
It is hard to believe, but if we dig deeper in to our hearts we all have been there and done that. We all have been judgemental whether intentionally or innocently. We do as we see! And since we have seen women judge every aspect of every woman’s life; it is natural for us to fall in the trap of being critical.
Each one of us has seen women in our lives complaining and criticizing other women; be it a close relative, a neighbour or a complete stranger (remember that neighbour of yours who is always critical of a young professional working woman who works in night shift or that aunt who criticizes the way a newly married girl doesn’t wear her symbols of marriage?).
We even silently compete with each other trying to prove we are better than others and have a perfect life. We want others to feel envious of our lives and actually feel threatened when someone’s life (or just a part of it) looks better than ours – a real problem due to social media profiles that can often be what someone wants to project, and not always reality. We can blame it on the fairy tales that have been setting the wrong examples from ages – remember the charming prince and happily ever after?
Sadly enough, in our society, there are enough societal norms and pressures put on women. Being a woman the least we can do is not to add on to our own woes.
Do not question the choices of every woman who seems to have different life choices from your ideas of righteousness. Let them choose when they want to get married/ have kids, what they want to wear, how they keep their homes, how they want to raise their children, whether they want to work or stay at home, whether they cook elaborate meals or manage serving a simple dinner. Not everyone will conform to your norms, but honestly, does it really matter?
There will always be somebody smarter, prettier and more successful than you; but there is absolutely no need to feel intimidated. Learn to deal with your insecurities in a better way. On the other hand, there will be women in your life who will struggle to achieve what you have achieved. You might feel better comparing yourself to them; you might love the whole idea of other women being jealous of you. But believe me it is a sick mentality – come out of it.
Nobody is perfect. Nobody’s life is a fairy-tale; every woman is fighting her own battle. Be generous towards yourself and others. It is not just men who need to change their outlook towards women, it is time women become more accepting and supportive of each other.
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No matter where one’s fandom lies, if one saw the clip of you visiting your son in jail, the sheer dignity would have one converted to 'being yours'!
Dear @iamsrk,
I have done enough stuff in my journey making my son and husband often exclaim vexedly, ‘Aap Zara Sa Tham Jao Ji!’
But never in my dreams did I imagine that I would be writing an open crush-puff-piece at this stage of my life!
If the Chitrahaar Gods were especially propitious, they would showcase the song 'Papa Kahte Hain' and she would croon along to the song and wonder with you... where did her future lie?
Dear Aamir,
The magazines called you the ‘Chocolate Boy’ and a little girl in a small town, who loved chocolates, rare as they were in the eighties, fell in love without even realising it. Not yet introduced to the charm of the brooding hero, she found your delectable rasogulla looks enticing enough, at the tender age of ten, to fall head over heels. You see, she had yet to be indoctrinated into the Tall, Dark, Handsome myth. Of course, if she had been a little bit older, she might have thought it was better to take greater note of your lipstick shade than your chocolate boy looks, for looks as they say, are here today and gone tomorrow.
She would wait impatiently for Wednesday and Friday evenings, counting the days in her heart. Come evening, she would be so excited, the spring in her steps would be hard to miss. She would be scared everyone would know the secret in her heart but still she was the first one to plop in front of the television at 8 o’clock promptly. It was the time for Chitrahaar and her only opportunity to gaze at your beautiful unblemished countenance without drawing attention to herself. You see, she carried her love for you like a firefly in her heart, a glow for difficult times.