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A jealous husband is not cute, no matter what advertisements might say! Marriages should be based on trust, and an equal position for both.
A few days back I watched this advertisement and it bothered me. Along with commendable advertisements about Sharing The Load and how Bold is Beautiful , I feel disappointed to see such ads existing side by side and still considered popular.
At the very onset, let me clarify that the aim of the advertisement might have been light humor but at this juncture in our society I feel emotions like jealousy, possessiveness, domination, etc. shouldn’t be given a tag of being ‘cute’ and just tolerated. Please let’s call a spade a spade. Negative emotions are what they are. Yes, your husband/wife might tease you in jest, but no, that cannot go to the extent of actual jealousy. That’s unhealthy. Every woman or man should put their foot down at such negativity or insecurity.
This ad goes on to suggest that the husband feels that the pretty wife’s mangalsutra should show so that people understand she’s already ‘taken’. “You see, I the mighty husband here has marked my territory.”
Pray, why? And why should I being the modern age, independent woman, standing on an equal footing with my husband just say “Aww so cute that he’s marking me!” Maybe next time I’d go on to say that “Aww so cute, he’s beating me up because he feels insecure about my male friends. How cute, na?”
No, it’s not cute. It’s offensive, it’s harmful and it should stop. Are we not seeing enough disasters how tolerating such behaviour is wreaking havoc in relationships? Recently, a television personality allegedly committed suicide after not being able to take an abusive relationship anymore. A month ago, I read the news of a supermodel being physically and mentally abused by her husband. If we keep recounting such issues then I would possibly run out of space for the rest of the article.
Take a look at the ad before we go any further.
Some people might ask, this was just an ad, why am I so concerned? Because media builds our awareness about issues. We sometimes take things for granted just because we’ve seen someone on TV do it. Also, at this point the jealousy might look cute, but imagine what if such behaviour is given indulgence and it keeps growing in proportion?
I had a colleague once whose husband wouldn’t ‘allow’ her to stay in office post 5, irrespective of the workload. He would then call the office landline to check from the security guard whether she has actually left. She was not allowed to come downstairs with us during breaks. She could only wear full sleeved salwar kameez with a huge dupatta. She was not allowed to be in a conference room with male colleagues where there were no other women present – and the list goes on. Cute, right? And yes, theirs was a love marriage and I’m guessing it was these kind of tiny jealous behaviours as shown in the ad, which were allowed to grow to this monstrous proportion.
Finally, I do have lemon water and honey in the morning, and that’s because I feel refreshed and it’s considered healthy, as well. Not to make my husband jealous! A healthy marriage should be based on understanding, love, respect, and friendship. It should be based on shared ideals, life views, and philosophies. A marriage is being comfortable in your skin. Please let’s not portray marriage as a power game where one party (either the husband or the wife) uses passive aggressive means to keep the other person under control.
Image source: youtube.
I read like a maniac, like my life depends on it. I also write and
Absolutely true…negative feelings and emotions at the initial stages of a relationship…if left unchecked, can lead to major issues later on
Also, husband who are ‘wanted’ by two or more women as shown in the movies, are ‘not’ a ‘macho man or great pick’. I recently saw a movie, in which the son of a divorced couple, calls up the mom and asks her to come quickly back to live with the father, as the son sees two women blatantly flirting with his father….this idea of men who are ‘wanted’ are more attractive, and that women should feel embarrassed and should be ashamed if she invited any other man’s glances (apart from her husband’s), need to change.
Both the man and the woman in a relationship need to be faithful to each other, and flirting or extra marital affairs on both sides is setting bad precedence to the next generation. If the partner is not liked by either of the couple, it is better to seek divorce and then be responsible for the children, rather than cheat each other…
I am glad you brought up this ad and it brings to mind another ad about the boyfriend getting jealous (an ad for a hair straightening device with Alia Bhatt playing the beautifully turned out girlfriend with lovely hair who gets other men’s attention and thus makes her boyfriend jealous which is apparently cute and makes her happy too!!!!) Like you said so correctly- promoting an emotion such as jealousy as ‘cute’ is bizarre! I mean how insecure and manipulative does one have to be to indulge in such nonsense in a relationship. Ad agencies often seem to take pride in allowing their most socially depraved and dysfunctional people make decisions that display more clearly their low IQ than their creativity!! Deliberately creating jealousy in a relationship is both manipulative and needy. Indulging in jealous behaviour is destructive and immature and very far from ‘cute’- like you precisely pointed out !!
Totally Agree! Although people might say that we should not put so much focus on these ads and just watch it for time pass . But it is the duty of media to deliver the right message. They should focus on meaningful and healthy relations rather than showing negative emotions like jealousy as a sign of building relationships
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