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As a 21st century man, how do you treat the women in your life? A reminder to tell you what your sister is NOT.
We have published Part 1 (What your mother is NOT) and Part 3 (What your wife is NOT) in this series elsewhere. Here is Part 2 in this series.
Your sister is NOT your daughter. Stop feeling paternalistic and over-protective about her.
Your sister is NOT your waitress. She is not supposed to pick up your used plates/glasses/spoons/etc.
Your sister is NOT your governess. She can’t keep reminding what you need to do.
Your sister is NOT supposed to naturally forgo her share of your parents’ property.
Your sister is NOT a separatist. She can be a loyalist to her parents exactly as you are to them.
Your sister is NOT a ‘Paraayaa Dhan.’ Stop crying in her marriage. She is NOT ‘going away’ anywhere. She is NOT a ‘transferable property’.
Your sister is NOT supposed to eat after you, after serving you!
Your sister is NOT supposed to pick up after you. She is not supposed to arrange your room at regular intervals.
Your sister is NOT your servant, that you can order her to fetch you water after coming from the gym. She may be herself in the gym at that time.
Your sister is NOT supposed to tie a rakhi to ask for your ‘protection’.
Your sister is NOT less of your parent’s child as compared to you.
Your sister is NOT supposed to give up her education or career so that you can pursue yours.
Your sister is NOT supposed to give up her hobby so that you can pursue yours.
Your sister is NOT supposed to de-link with your parents after her marriage : she can still have joint account with either/both parent(s).
Your sister is NOT supposed to forgo her responsibilities towards her parents : she can also look after them alternately with you in their old age.
Your sister is NOT supposed to have curfew when you don’t have. She can also have a ‘Girls’ night-out’.
Your sister is NOT supposed to not invite her male friends to the house, when you can invite your female friends.
Your sister is NOT your liability. Don’t assume the responsibility of ‘marrying her off’.
Your sister is NOT supposed to hide her better grades from you.
Your sister is NOT supposed to behave ‘like a lady’ to please anyone : don’t expect her or order her to do so.
Your sister is NOT supposed to be ‘smiling, nice, sweet, pleasant, soft-spoken, kind, considerate, adjusting, accommodating’ all the time.
Your sister is NOT supposed to be ashamed of her body or menstruation. She is NOT supposed to be shy about it or avoid any such discussion with you.
Your sister is NOT supposed to be docile, meek, coy, etc. like Suraj Barjatya’s sugarcane heroines.
Your sister is NOT less important than you for the family.
Your sister is NOT less responsible than you for the family.
Your sister is NOT supposed to always seat in the backseat of the family car and you in the front. She can also ride your dad’s scooter and drop you somewhere you want to reach.
Your sister is NOT supposed to be not interested in sports : all bats, balls, rackets, boxing gloves, shuttles, swimming goggles, dumbbells in the house are not for your exclusive use.
Your sister is NOT supposed to dress traditionally, to ‘uphold family culture’, when you are loitering in your Bermudas and ganji.
Your sister is NOT supposed to not drink, when you can get sozzled.
Your sister is NOT supposed to be ‘naturally interested’ in shopping, make-up, pink color. She need not always pick up ‘Femina’, ‘Women’s Era’. ‘Good Housekeeping’, etc. from the magazine stall. She is free to pick up ‘India Today’ or ‘The Economics Times’ if she wants.
Published earlier here.
Image source: siblings by Shutterstock.
Professor at Indian Institute of Technology, Kharagpur. http://iitkgp.ac.in/fac-profiles/showprofile.php?empcode=SUmUS read more...
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"I chose to go out into the remote, wild, unknown, and make it home," says entrepreneur Kiranjeet Ahluwalia Chaturvedi, who owns Birdsong & Beyond.
The story of my mountain home Birdsong & Beyond started taking shape in 2009, on the internet, the way many stories do these days.
My childhood fascination for a life in the Himalayas led to an internship with a central Himalayan NGO instead of a much prized corporate assignment. But when they offered me a full-time job, I refused. I was overcome by fear and a lack of confidence.
My other longings pulled me away – the longing to fit in, to earn validation from others. By my mid-30s, with all the trappings of a middle-class urban life in place, the call of the snows couldn’t be ignored anymore. So I got to work on it with clearer intentions and a stronger sense of what I needed for myself, and why.
Many Indian elderly are firm believers in enslaving a daughter-in-law in the name of tradition which is actually a tradition of oppression and not of religious faith.
Albeit, the popular culture has interpreted scriptures as suggesting that Kanyadaan is the supreme form of donation given to someone, the connotation that the word donation alludes to definitely objectifies the girl.
Even when the exegesis justify the act of giving away the daughter, considering it a ritual to mark the initiation of the daughter into her husband’s gotra and her becoming the part of his family tree.
There is no denial of the fact that this initiation is not required on the part of the groom thereby formally denoting the end of the filial ties with the daughter as it was popularly instructed to the bride during the Vidai ceremonies:
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