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In the series of letters to her daughter, here is the 6th letter, where the writer talks to her daughter about grace, success and being a good human being.
It is early part of the morning as I am writing to you. A new year has dawned. The new winter Sun is streaming through the balcony. And my cup of ‘Chaai’ stares at me, like an old lover. Yes, darling half of the city is asleep, after last night’s celebrations, but today is such a beautiful day, to talk to my daughter.
I have already written so many letters to you, each time I wonder, if I really have something more to say. My mother-daughter’s conversations are endless. Each day the mother hen picks something on the way and takes it preciously to the daughter hen. Each day, there is something to share.
You might not agree, to many things. But do give your mother’s letters a chance. Not because they are something out of the world, read them because, this is all I have to offer- to you, to the world and to the Universe. Last year, was a learning experience, here are few things I learnt and others I am still learning.
Close your eyes. Breathe deep. Think about the last conversation, you had with someone about yourself. We all tell a story about ourselves. So, what is that story you tell about yourself? Do you repeat the story of how you were a victim or the story of a survivor? This story, beta is what will define your destiny. Know what, it’s not religion that is a common man’s opium. It is pain- the story of victimhood. They put the story on repeat, and a life time takes over. If you put your life on repeat, you cannot expect a new story to begin. Sometimes, we need to stand up and put an end to that story. No matter what happened yesterday, today, I can start something fresh. This is the greatest power every human has and may be the power we fear so much too. How you talk about yourself, you talk to the Universe. And the Universe will reflect the same story. Your life is a direct reflection of the story you have told yourself over years.
The truth about life is that, we all need each other. Darling heart, no matter how empowered we think/feel we are, we will need people around. Life works on many shoulders. It’s not a lone journey. Invest in people. Be there for them. And be there with all honesty. One day, it will come back to you. It always does. I have failed so many times. Things could have gone haywire. May be I would have been a lost woman, somewhere. But today, that I am writing to you, on a new year, comfortably infront of so many people, it is because when there was a disaster someone held my back. Someone opened another door. Someone gave me a shoulder. And when I grew stronger, I did the same. I have never ever, let someone go who needed help. I did, what I could in my human capacity. I think, that has saved my life, so many times. We all fall, darling. Also, don’t expect that the person, whom you did good to, to return the favour. Help often comes from unforeseen quarters.
Be a good human being. Do good. I promise you, good will come to you. It did to me. If you cannot help, have good intentions. All good will follow you. Trust your mother on that.
This looks like a tough nut. Sometimes, we need to put an end to so many things. Sometimes, it’s the work that you have been doing for long or a long lasting relationship. It so happens that in life, many a times, we fall into patterns. Those patterns become our comfort zone. Like the job that you are doing or the partner/friend you had been with. But the sure sign to rethink anything in life is that, you will start feeling restless, uncomfortable and most importantly unhappy. But, we often ignore it (I did too) , because rocking the boat needs courage and to muster that courage needs time. May be there comes a time, you feel, you deserve better, you want a better pay/work or to be treated better and where you are can’t afford you more. May be it’s time, to move on. Take your time, reflect and take a leap of faith. I did. And it took me to better places. Remember beta, all things serve a purpose. Sometimes, we grow beyond, the lessons are over. We evolve. And when you become new, you need something new to fit it. Goodbyes are okay at times, if the place you are in is making you bitter and not better. You, my darling deserve better. Always.
I cannot tell you enough, how much grace makes life easier. But not many have it. You got to practice it. Grace is the quality to clap for a friend, when he/she has done better in life, even if you are too vying for the same thing. Have the grace to call up and congratulate. Grace is the quality to listen to someone, without bringing yourself in between. Grace is ultimately, letting people be.
Know what, it look so ugly, when a friend just stamps you when you are sharing something important. Like a victory, an achievement or may be heartbreak. Grace is the ability to understand when to talk and when to just shut up. No darling, no matter how awesome you are, there will be days that will solely belong to someone else. No matter how close that person is, it is his/her day. Don’t try to fix that limelight on your head that will make you look very ugly. Sometimes silence is grace. When you break up with someone, you might have some bitterness in your heart. Be graceful not to go around the town and talk ill about that person. Don’t carry people in your words. That is class.
I will tell you something very important, which will build you later in life. Listen darling, the world owes you nothing. It was much before you were born and will be there, much after. You are a guest here and the world is not your guest. We all have our own dreams. Please remember, the world does not owe you your dreams. It can happily do without it. You owe it to yourself. Infact no one owes it to you, that you are happy and healthy. People including Daddy and I can mean you good and offer you help, but how you choose to live your life, is always your choice. No matter what, no one can walk your journey. So, don’t wait. If you think you want to be a climber or a singer, wake up in the morning and work towards it. Also, if you don’t the world is still okay with it. It’s your discipline, passion, hardwork and focus that will lead you to your success.
Don’t be that girl who has a sad story about how the world stopped her from everything, be that girl, who did it all inspite of everything. I will tell you a secret. The blame game is the easiest and the most self satisfying thing to do. There is always a boss, parent, lover, friend and circumstance to blame. And that my friend, is an amazing story to tell. But the price of that story is that, you never get what you want. Success has a price. It begins with hard work, rejections and practice. Every time you think the world owes you anything, remember today is a new year’s day. My office is closed. Yet, I woke up in the morning to write this and publish, not because the world owes me this letter, because I want to live my dream of being a writer. Every dream has a price tag, if you want it, pay the price.
It’s already late morning. The Sun is warm. I am going for a walk in the park. I love walking around the greens, it’s a beautiful time to commune with oneself. If life ever confuses you, take long walks, you will find much more than you will expect. May be you find yourself.
Cover image via Shutterstock
Proud Indian. Senior Writer at Women's Web. Columnist. Book Reviewer. Street Theatre - Aatish. Dreamer. Workaholic. read more...
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I wanted to scream with excitement that my daughter chose to write about her ambition and aspirations over everything else first. To me, this was one of those parenting 'win' moments.
My daughter turned eight years old in January, and among the various gifts she received from friends and family was an absolutely beautiful personal journal for self-growth. A few days ago, she was exploring the pages when she found a section for writing a letter to her future self. She found this intriguing and began jotting down her thoughts animatedly.
My curiosity piqued and she could sense it immediately. She assured me that she would show me the letter soon, and lo behold, she kept her word.
I glanced at her words, expecting to see a mention of her parents in the first sentence. But, to my utter delight, the first thing she had written about was her AMBITION. Yes, the caps here are intentional because I want to scream with excitement that my daughter chose to write about her ambition and aspirations over everything else first. To me, this was one of those parenting ‘win’ moments.
Uorfi Javed has been making waves through social media, and is often the target of trolls. So who and what exactly is this intriguing young woman?
Uorfi Javed (no relation to Javed Akhtar) is a name that crops up in my news feeds every now and again. It is usually because she got trolled for being in some or other ‘daring’ outfit and then posting those images on social media. If I were asked, I would not be able to name a single other reason why she is famous. I am told that she is an actor but I would have no frankly no clue about her body of work (pun wholly unintended).
So is Urfi Javed (or Uorfi Javed as she prefers) famous only for being famous? How does she impact the cause of feminism by permitting herself to be objectified, trolled, reviled?
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