Thank You: Say It More Often!

Namita Kohli Arora singles out a simple habit that will make a huge difference in a relationship. 

Imagine how thoughtful it would be if your hubby left you a thank you note for preparing his favorite meal last night or if he showed gratitude for making sure that all the utilities were paid in time while he had a working weekend? Your partner definitely knows that you appreciate them in whatever they do for you. But sometimes expressing gratitude by actually saying it can do wonders for a man-woman relationship. In the present world and specifically in the Indian context, this starts from first moving away from the traditional patriarchal mindset, where it is regarded as the duty of a “good wife” to do all the household chores and make sure that she sends off and welcomes back her husband every day with a red carpet of sorts.

I wouldn’t want to argue in terms of who needs to do what because I truly believe that in a marriage, a man and a woman need to share equal responsibility for everything, be it within the house or outside. Rather than classifying things as a man’s and a woman’s job, it should be each one doing what they can when they have time and in some cases, what commands their interest.

I have been married for close to 3 years and have been lucky to have a partner who believes in equality of sexes in its true sense, someone who doesn’t think that the kitchen belongs to the woman or that getting the bacon home is a man’s prerogative. We as a couple consider each other adept enough to tackle anything and everything. While he finds cooking to be a stress reliever, I like to do the weekly shopping. Quite contrary to the usual “Indian” set up, this is acceptable in a foreign land where we currently live but definitely raises eyebrows back home. We appreciate each other often and take constructive criticism from each other in a positive spirit. However, a few months back we realised that even though we share responsibilities, irrespective of whether that’s traditionally a man or a woman’s job, there was a lack of gratitude towards each other and a sense of taking each other for granted had started to develop. That’s when we both incorporated a very simple habit of saying thank you more often than usual.

As the years pass by, it is easy to get used to the ways your partner contributes to your life each day. It happens with both men and women.

Sounds a bit weird at first but it’s quite an amazing feeling to be complimented by your husband or a wife with a “thank you” for something as simple as preparing a meal or for finding time to put the house in order when the other has been juggling crazy work schedules. Saying thank you is a beautiful gesture that instantly makes the person realise how much they are valued. It’s a way to remind your partner that even after all those years, he/she is an indispensable part of your life. As the years pass by, it is easy to get used to the ways your partner contributes to your life each day. It happens with both men and women. Inculcating the habit of expressing gratitude on a day to day basis is one of the smallest ways to keep the charm and love alive over the years. It can be heartening to sometimes be reminded by your partner that how much he/she appreciate the routine things that you do for them.

A lot of people argue that it is so very obvious and integral to a marriage that you value your partner, that you appreciate them. Well, sometimes it is important to give words to feelings, lest the feelings gets buried in the number of years that you two have been together. So as you say it to friends, parents, siblings, say it to your husband or wife as well. He/she probably deserve it the most because he/she “chooses” to embrace you and make you the most special person in his/her life.

Image via Shutterstock.

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