Life After Cancer: HappIness Cannot Happen Without An I

Posted: April 13, 2015

Being happy is a choice; even in the midst of turmoils. We cannot ever be happy if we do not want to be. So, wake up every morning wanting to be happy.

Look to see what you desire in your life, then ride that feeling all the way to creation. This is called the Law of Attraction. – NealeDWalsch

It’s the dawn of a new day, a new beginning. Look around, breathe in the fresh air and drink in all the positivity around. We can start our life anew the moment we remind ourselves to live and be happy. So, what are the ingredients for a happy life? I wish we had some Happy Khanna or Sanjeev Joyful to dish out some happiness recipes for us. So, what is happiness? Is it bringing a smile on someone’s face, is it getting the taste of your coffee right, is it enjoying the rain, or is it getting a promotion? Whether or not your name is Happy Singh, your basic nature is to be happy and content.

We are all happy and blissful souls, we just keep forgetting that. And there is nothing wrong in it because we are here to experience it and being human is what it is. (No, I am not a Salman Khan fan!) Unless we know what being sad feels like, we would not know how being happy would feel. And in this experience of being human, we have choices; a choice to decide who you want to be and not just what you want to do, because we are human beings and not human doings.

I choose to be happy. When I was undergoing chemotherapy, I used to be excited on the day of chemo as the F&B staff provided me with my choice of food. I would watch TV, talk to my husband and father who used be with me in the hospital and enjoy myself. I joined yoga soon after my treatment got over, and my eye brows and eye lashes had just come back. So, at the end of yoga sessions when the instructor would ask us to relax our eyebrows, I would have such a big grin on my face and would make my eye brows dance because I felt so good having them back. I now dance like a mad woman, shaking my head to make my hair dance with me. I feel like I own the world and just want to spread my arms and dance, and do whatever I wish to. I have got myself back from my own clutches.

We often lose ourselves to our marriage, children and career. We start living our lives the way others want us to live because we focus too much on impressing them. Impressing someone may give a temporary boost to our happiness, but this happiness can never be long lasting because soon you will have either the same person with some other demand or a new person expecting something out of you. The game of expectations goes both ways. We also tend to forget that either ways, all the players lose as either you are expecting something from others or you are behaving and living in a way to impress others and it is stressful.

Let’s assume that I am driving on the road at a speed of 50km/hr as I feel it’s a safe speed and it will help me reach my destination on time. Now, if I see another driver drive at a speed of 40km/hr, I will think he is driving too slow and I will get irritated. If I see someone driving at a speed of 60kms/hr, I might question his speed again. Does he not love himself and his family enough? But really, who am I to decide the speed at which others should drive? Should I not be happy with the fact that I have a vehicle and the ability to drive it at my desired speed?

When we don’t like changing ourselves for others, then why expect the world out of them? Also, when we succumb and change, we are again not happy. So, it’s time to accept yourself the way you are. Once you start accepting yourself, the people around you will automatically love and respect you for who you are. We need to love ourselves. Never stop walking the path of your own happiness, that’s the only thing which makes us who we are.

We get happy when we have what we desire. But many a times we keep waiting for something good in our life to happen without being sure what are we expecting. I, for example, get confused between the options that I can choose from and work towards. Like, currently I am utterly confused about which type of breast reconstruction to go for. However, unless I decide which one I want, reconstruction will not happen on its own nor will the doctor tell me which one to choose. Unless I am sure of what I want to create, how can the energies come together to bring to me what I am waiting for?

It is very important to prioritize and then know for sure what you actually want to achieve. This achievement may not be only professional, but applies to all aspects of life. And trust me, if Tushar Kapoor can get films, the movie Bodyguard can cross a 100 crore, and Sanjay Dutt can dance on `tamma tamma loge’, we too can get whatever our heart desires.

Be happy and stay blessed!

Image of a happy woman via Shutterstock

I am a management faculty by profession and left my full time job in June

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Comments

5 Comments


  1. Very Beautifully written, Neeti.
    You are truly inspirational in the way you have faced this challenge in your life and through your writing, I am sure many people will be positively enthused to lead their lives more happily by reading what you have written. I love how you have used Bollywood examples for a touch of humour. Thank you for writing this article. Wish you every success. : ) Regards, Vrushali

    • Neeti Leekha Chhabra -

      Hey Vrushali..so happy that my post had a positive impact..this is exactly what inspires me and gives me strength. Stay blessed!

  2. Neeti very true…we often loose ourself in an effort to please other….i love it when you say i dance like a mad woman….it so easily defines your pespective towards life

  3. shymasree basu -

    What a heartfelt post…yes happiness is all we want but we go looking for it in the wrong places.I was remembering Andie Warhol’s famous words “you have got to be happy about nothing” while reading this post.

  4. 🙂 Its soooo beautifully written…made my morning which i had otherwise just woken to with anxities due to undecisiveness on an important issue and pending office work. N of course it being Monday morning doesn’t help much either. But now I can start my day on a much better note. God bless you!

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