The Serious Business Of Being A Godman

Posted: January 20, 2015

No one should dictate what a woman should do with her body; and that applies to so-called ‘God-Men’ too.

Dear God-Men,

It’s funny that those two words combine and India accepts the outcomes of such associations even when it is not Sachin Tendulkar we are talking about. He may have retired, but he will be the only God-Man I would ever bow to. But, this post is not about Sachin.




First of all, let me congratulate you on being able to fool an entire generation of people. You’re all rock-stars. No mere mortal could have done what you guys do everyday.

This Banana-Republic is a free nation, and everyone has the right to choose an occupation. It doesn’t even matter if some citizens choose to become Gods.  I am sure the real God must be super excitedly waiting to meet you guys and take some tips on how to have as huge a following as you guys have. But, this post is not about God either. This post is about your clan.

The circus that this nation is, I am not surprised when a new God-Man comes into being every few days. It’s a job, I understand. It’s tax-free income. And it’s a free nation. I will defend to all limits your right to choose to become whatever you believe in. Even if you believe you’re God(Man). Spoil yourself silly with chants, prasad, garlands, saffron and what not. You must have earned it all with lots of hard-work. Loot people who are foolish enough to fall into your traps. Make a business of their sorrows and promise them sons, money, homes, marriages and everything else. Do it all, I really don’t care.

For me, your clan was not existent until a few of you started raping women and made a business out of trafficking girls. And then, time came when you started interacting with our Media. Thanks to you guys, we get an eye opener every few days. Whoever knew that calling a rapist ‘Bhaiya’ would stop him from committing the crime and he’ll visit her every year with a Rakhi gift for the rest of his life. Brilliant solution!

While some God-Men were talking only about how women were responsible for their own rapes, a few of you decided to move the debate to an entirely new direction. Every Hindu woman should produce at least 4 or 5 or 10 kids so that Hinduism doesn’t get extinct through time – now that’s a new one I must say. Born a Hindu, it does not matter to me if the religion gets extinct through time or not. I just don’t care.

I don’t give a damn about this rubbish that you’re preaching but, I do care about my body, my career, my life and my family. And I will not be mute to an insane baba asking me to become a child-vending-machine because he wants his religion to flourish. No. This time it’s not going to be so easy for you to cook-up-crap and serve it to the whole of woman-kind. You would argue that it was meant for the Hindu Woman-kind, so be it. We will not be silent viewers and take ridiculous statements from your clan.

On a different note, why don’t you produce 4 or 5 or 10 or whatever number of kids – why do you need a woman for it, if you are Gods?  Who knows, you might even be able to cut short the manufacturing time of 9 months to just a few days. Then you would also be able to boast about this when you talk about flying jets in the Vedas. Well, this is what modern India needs the most – how the hell have we not beaten China yet!

You love the limelight, don’t you? Sprouting valuable gems from your Godly mouths is a sure-shot way to fame. What else can give you such space on the small-screen , newspapers and social media other than trying to give gyaan that no one wants to listen to, let alone Hindu women who were your best bet?

Cheers,

A Hindu Woman Who Will Not Have 4/5/10 Kids.

P.S.

Even though I hate Jim Carrey, he made a better God than you guys.

My body, My choice image via Shutterstock

A software engineer, a realist, and a cribber by the day. A chef, a writer,

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1 Comment


  1. This is a brilliantly funny satire !

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