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Blaming the victim in cases of molestation and sexual assault makes us feel smug, but is only paving the way for the next victim to be assaulted.
And it happened again. It wasn’t unexpected, was not at all shocking, was neither a surprise nor something that makes the mouth hang wide open. All it did was add to the feeling of disgust, contempt and loathing that is already present in the minds and hearts of a large number of people.
Recently, Gauhar Khan was slapped while hosting a reality TV show. The man in question first tried to touch her inappropriately and failing to do so, slapped the actress stating that a woman of her faith should not be wearing such revealing outfits.
This incident should have been handled in a mature manner by the Indian media by showing their support to Gauhar and coming together to condemn this act of violence. What followed was a bizarre, immature and ridiculous display of the Indian mentality. Huge debates erupted on what a woman should wear, how much of her body should be covered, how Gauhar is insulting her religion and is nothing but a body-selling good-for-nothing woman and how she deserved to be slapped.
While this happened, the news channels made sure their TRPs sky rocketed by telecasting bikini-clad pictures of the actress, telecasting a story on her ex-boyfriends, naming her Gauhar “Scandal” Khan, and not shying away from choosing this moment to show clippings of her wardrobe malfunction on the ramp and as these stories floated, using a bikini thumbnail of her during news breaks.
When the news of Bipasha Basu’s break up comes in, news channels compete with each other in showing her pictures in revealing outfits…
The media has been especially cheap as far as reporting on women celebrities is concerned. When the news of Bipasha Basu’s break up comes in, news channels compete with each other in showing her pictures in revealing outfits with programs aired about how happy her ex is after they broke up and he got hooked to a “nice, homely” girl. When Deepika Padukone had a row with the Times Of India, her cleavage controversy led on to revealing the shocking mentality of the majority who think that a girl who has once had her pictures published in a bikini is hence forth the property of the public and obviously, nothing less than a slut.
Shweta Basu, a child star, winner of a Filmfare award got entangled in prostitution. Was arrested, apologized, and is trying to move on. The media came forward with such hate and contempt for her that it would not be surprising if someone tried to personally harm her and then justified it as a befitting punishment. (Here, one can ask, what about the so called ‘respectable’ men who in spite of having families are not ashamed of indulging in such activities? Not a single statement of hate towards them!)
Earlier this month, a Delhi girl was raped when she took a cab home. Some reports suggested she was at a party and had a few alcoholic beverages and fell asleep during her cab ride. When she woke up, the driver was molesting her and beat her up when she resisted and threatened to ‘insert a rod in her stomach’ if she screamed. As expected, it started – various debates, blaming the society, the influence of the ‘Western world’ on the so called Indian culture and blaming the victim.
…we as a society, as masses, enjoy blaming someone, putting the blame on someone, insulting someone so that we can look good, feed off the pain of people in order to enjoy our happiness.
This blaming the victim is something that the majority of the society enjoys. Maybe because we as a society, as masses, enjoy blaming someone, putting the blame on someone, insulting someone so that we can look good, feed off the pain of people in order to enjoy our happiness.
The things that people think make a rape inevitable are surprisingly everything to do with the spirit of a woman,the freedom of a woman. There are far too many people ready to pounce on women; Scrutinizing her dress, judging her by the clothes she is wearing, how deep is her neck or is how short her skirt, whether or not she has any male friends, if she has alcoholic beverages etc. and once the check list is over, all hell breaks loose on the girl. People suddenly come to the judgement that she deserved to get raped or is a sinner who is being adequately punished. One might then wonder what exactly was a 6 month old girl wearing when she was raped or what did she do to deserve the heinous crime.
Blaming and shaming the victim has become a culture, our culture. Rapes, sexual assaults, molestations, violence are not spicy stories that we read while sitting on the pot or while taking breaks in offices. They are the ugly reality that we have to deal with. By shaming the victims, we are doing nothing but paving the way for becoming the next victim.
Rapes and crimes against women do not happen because of alcohol, short dresses, male friends, late night parties and pubs. They happen because somewhere, someone has the audacity to think they can get away with it.
First published at the author’s blog
Placard image via Shutterstock
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Shows like Indian Matchmaking only further the argument that women must adhere to social norms without being allowed to follow their hearts.
When Netflix announced that Indian Matchmaking (2020-present) would be renewed for a second season, many of us hoped for the makers of the show to take all the criticism they faced seriously. That is definitely not the case because the show still continues to celebrate regressive patriarchal values.
Here are a few of the gendered notions that the show propagates.
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As long as teachers are competent in their job, and adhere to the workplace code of conduct, how does it matter what they do in their personal lives?
A 30 year old Associate Professor at a well-known University, according to an FIR filed by her, was forced to resign because the father of one of her students complained that he found his son looking at photographs of her, which according to him were “objectionable” and “bordering on nudity”.
There are two aspects to this case, which are equally disturbing, and which together make me question where we are heading as a society.
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