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The fight against depression often ends up being a lone war, because even well-meaning people may not care enough. If you had a friend with mental health issues, how would you help?
I am sick. I am not stupid, or disabled. I am not crazy. It’s not just stress. It’s not in my head. I am not causing it myself. I am not making it up. I am learning about it and about myself every day. I try my best to deal with the pain. I can still do things for myself. I have managed to make something of myself. I can look after myself. I like that I am independent. But sometimes, I may need your help.
It would mean a ton if you did not take it as my flaw. I am not giving up. For every time I said I can’t take it anymore, I am still here. But sometimes, I forget that I am not weak.
Don’t you need that little boost from time to time? I need it more often than you. Don’t some people get the flu more often than others? I am not weak. It must be my mental immune system.
Don’t you need that little boost from time to time? I need it more often than you.
Sometimes I need your help. Lend a hand. You don’t know how much it could mean.
For those of us who ask for help, we meet 3 kinds of well-meaning people. There’s absolutely no doubting the fact that all three care, and want to help. They are:
Then there are the ones who leave. After all, it is advisable to cut out those people who sap you off your energy and affect your zeal. Sometimes I wonder if it’s just the mentally ill one should cut out or are they referring to the terminally ill as well?
If one thinks judiciously, the quote “People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime” does not hugely apply to those with a weak mental immune system. People come into our lives mostly for a season.
Lastly, there are the ones who think that nothing is wrong with you. On some level, I believe that these people are good for us. They may not be the ‘go-to’ people, but they will treat you like any other friend. No patronising, no judgment. In any case the ‘go-to’ people should always be the professionals.
One did not realise the need (or lack) of a support system till a therapist pointed it out. The exact words were ‘there are plans/activities we can work on, but they work best when we involve more people who can be a part of the journey.’ God Bless the husbands, parents/siblings, or just about anyone who commits.
It’s not right to expect a friend to commit to something like this. But I am forever grateful to the friends who have, at some point or another, ‘heard me out’ and done what they could.
It’s not right to expect a friend to commit to something like this. But I am forever grateful to the friends who have, at some point or another, ‘heard me out’ and done what they could. And to this one friend who has stuck. Or have I stuck to him like a leech? They say real friends are the ones who have done something for you that you can never pay back for.
Thank you. I can never pay you back.
Pic credit: Image of a depressed woman via Shutterstock.
The power of stories to inspire change made me turn into a storyteller. I write on 2 topics that need a very clear shift in attitude – ‘Being single in India’ & ‘Stigma attached to mental read more...
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We can’t bombard impressionable young women in the name of enlightened entertainment to feed them the same drivel. At least let us not label misogynist movies as helping the cause of women.
I have watched at least 2 ‘purported’ trailblazing Bollywood movies in the recent past that left me with a feeling that I had taken part in the ice-bucket challenge all over again. This time around, however, without even the satisfaction of having supported a worthy cause.
Both the movies have about a 90% liking rate on IMDB/Rotten Tomatoes. Both are touted to ‘sensitively’ portray the taboo topics that seem to be mostly hidden underneath a layer of banana peels – dangerous to even tread nearby.
Dushyanta clearly remembered everything. But he didn't have any intention to accept a poor woman from a remote hermitage as his wife and her son as theirs.
Dushyanta clearly remembered everything. But he didn’t have any intention to accept a poor woman from a remote hermitage as his wife and her son as theirs.
She sat motionless on the royal bed, her knees drawn up to her chin, staring vacantly outside the palace window.
She was sheathed in exquisite scarlet red silk, shot through with golden threads forming intricate traditional patterns. Chests of gems and jewellery were strewn all over the bed. The maids were fussing over whether a diamond-studded necklace would suit their queen or a gold choker would look better. Another younger maid was arranging her tresses in a coiffeur.
A searing look at how depression feels inside that will make you re-think all the advice we give a depressed person, to try and cheer up.
Every self help book, every wise person you have ever met, and every one of your friends will tell you to be yourself; be you; the fiercest you that you can muster.
They are right. However, no one talks about the cost of being yourself in an ‘other’ world. This world is divided, yet so united in its hatred of the unconventional, the pure, the ‘other’ to them. Being you means you have to stand strong and always be prepared for unwanted pushes and shoves that are trying to show you your place. Your place is exactly where you are standing, yet they seem to believe you don’t belong there. They seem to know that you are doing something you are not supposed to be doing. Don’t listen to them.
Suicide is a side effect of a much misunderstood illness that can be fatal, much like cancer is, and like with cancer, conversation around it needs to be normalised.
Social media (like it rightfully should) is flooding with posts on Sushant Singh Rajput’s suicide and as a broader discussion, on mental health.
Most of what is being said – with men and women coming forward sharing their own experience – is both powerful and helpful. But a lot of it is also not. So there’s a need to try and summarize, and consolidate if you will, the noise into some structure to establish the key tenets.