If you are passionate about teaching, then Hackberry offers you franchise opportunities to turn this passion into your profession. Fill out the form now!
You don't have to bear the burden of a bad marriage forever. Leaving for your happiness and that of your partner is a sane, practical choice, says this post.
You don’t have to bear the burden of a bad marriage forever. Leaving for your happiness and that of your partner is a sane, practical choice, says this post.
As a little girl, I always thought of marriage like an eternal bond – something pious, fulfilling, and everlasting; like it is shown in our movies – two people, so immersed in love, get married. Simple! Little did I know back then, that it was way more complicated than that.
Today, having been married for a little over a year, I wonder at the state of relationships after marriage today. The plethora of tumultuous relationships is sad, with many fragile, and far from being rock solid. While it saddens me to see some of my close ones going through a rough patch in their relationship and some others already separated, I feel somewhat happy for them. Relieved is actually the right word.
While the outcome of their love might not be exactly near happiness at this moment, I think it happens for the best. Notwithstanding the fact that the ride wasn’t smooth for them, I still think they are right in holding their grounds and wanting a separation. I often find myself talking to a lot of them undergoing long, painful separations and I make sure I seldom use the term “I understand what you are going through”. Because I can’t. In fact, nobody can.
The seed behind this article is not to dwell on the reasons why it didn’t work or why it should have. I am sure the reasons why they are not ready to continue living with each other must be something concrete. The truth is – it didn’t work, and looking at separation as an option is best for the moment. So this one goes out to everyone who has or is going through a bad phase in their marital life and all of the people who look at someone with a broken marriage as a kind of weakness. It is important to leave the building than to linger around for nothing:
Taking a huge leap of faith and wanting to end the marriage may look seemingly weak and immoral at times, but it seems like the best bet now. Instead of bearing the brunt of infidelity or lack of love, separation is sane – as the present is too precious to be wasted away. If it feels right at the moment after bouts of endless trial sessions on your tolerance, accept it and walk off, it is only right.
Yes, I have seen most of my shy, meek, soft-spoken friends turning over a new leaf after they experience turbulence in their married life. They are not gullible anymore, are somewhat independent, and have clearly stood on their own. Surprisingly, a bad tryst with destiny has made them tough and brazen.
Giving up on a marriage or on a person is actually not giving up on life. People need to understand that. In fact, cutting yourself from a relationship proves the point that you are bruised and hurt, but not scared. You have seen so much drama and can weather any storms in the future.
Suffocating you and your partner in a loveless marriage is the worst thing ever. Some couples have full-blown affairs outside just because they don’t want to screw the happiness of their children! I asked a close friend of mine who had married her childhood sweetheart and was divorcing him after being together for almost 10 years, married for 5. She replied, “Because love deserted us and as much as I want to see myself happy, I wish the same for him”.
Maybe one of you stopped trying, or maybe you lost the connection somehow. Sh*t happens. But somehow, even after the blame game, it is mostly nobody’s fault or maybe both were at fault. Whatever the reason would have been, it was perhaps never meant to be.
Sometimes some people have a façade around them, or maybe you were the one blinded by the love. And after marriage, the blindfold comes off. A couple of my friends have expressed their regret on not seeing this earlier. But most of them stood their ground and refused to submit to the dysfunctional marriage they initially tried to nurture. They loved, married, left, and re-married again to find love and happiness.
Yes, as much as you thought you loved the person and now married them, marriage is a game-changer. So, it is okay if you feel you have tried long enough and it is simply not helping. Walk off, and be alone for a while. Maybe you had been rushed into marriage by family pressures, love, or age concerns. Stay alone for a while and figure out what you really want. Usually all our answers lie in our head, until we find them.
Yes, what would the world say – with whom should I share and from whom should I withhold? Truth is, because of the social media storm, it is impossible to conceal anything until and unless you live solitary. Sadly, people will know – maybe versions of your story, some, or all of it. But then, they don’t get to see the daily drama, the tears, the ugly spats, and those unresolved issues. So trying to save your marriage for fear of societal norms is only going to make things worse.
Not everyone can attempt to dissolve their months, years, or decades of togetherness. But hats off to those who go through this tussle in their lives and take a stand. From an outsider’s perspective, it may earn you some raised eyebrows, but it requires lot of courage to go through that.
Because it is important. Because you deserve a drama-free life now. Because if you don’t do it now, you will never take the plunge. Because it is important you follow what you want. Because divorce maybe be bitter, seem like blasphemy, or morally incorrect, but it may be right for you. Because you need to go into the unknown and find your own answers. Because the complications need to be unraveled and you need to venture out and find yourself, in the midst of all these.
Pic credit: image of arguing couple via Shutterstock
Meet Divya, Indian born-Swedish resident caught up in a world of contradictions ready to unravel the simple joys of life.She writes for Women's Web, LifeHack, Scoop Whoop and The Times Of India. read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, indivisual posts do not necessarily represent the platofrom's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
'Dr Saloni will take care of everything,' my MIL said. My cowardly husband refused to go against his mother’s wishes. I was left to fend for myself!
Some time ago, I went to a marriage ceremony with my parents. It was a very high-profile marriage – not the ones we usually were invited to – but in this case it was Ramesh uncle’s son’s marriage. Ramesh uncle was my father’s first cousin. He began his career as a humble elevator operator at the TIC business group. With his sheer hard work, grit, and the knack of sensing the right opportunities, within eighteen years he became the president of the company. My father and he were the best of friends during their school time.
Half an hour before the stipulated time, we left our house, hired an auto and reached the venue. All four of us were in our best outfits. Getting out of the auto and looking at each other, we were highly convinced that we were going to fit in just right. As we crossed the dazzling and beautiful portico, we felt very insignificant compared to the big lawn and building lying ahead.
Mother was wearing all the jewellery she had got, including the big old-fashioned necklace, earrings and shiny bangles. Father was wearing a velvet coat, brother had put on a light orange shirt with a black check coat, I myself was wearing a red salwar kurta with a net dupatta. I had put on a necklace with red beads which at the time of wearing looked very pretty to me. Now looking at the other guests, I felt all four of us must be looking like clowns who had come for a fancy-dress competition. I felt my brother and parents were also feeling self-conscious and uneasy now.
Live-in relationships are legal in the eyes of the law. Read on to know more on the rights of women in live-in relationships.
Live-in relationships may sound exciting. But sometimes they become complicated, especially for women and the children born from a live-in relationship. It’s important to be aware of rights of women in live-in relationships.
Live-in relationships are where a woman and man live under one roof with mutual consent, like husband and wife, but without getting married. This has become very common in metropolitan cities these days, where two independent people simply do not want to get married. This relationship can be terminated without the consent of the other party.
Live-in relation may not be recognized completely at the social level, but Indian law does consider this relationship to be legal.
Happily ever after in actually not a dream concept, one can actually live it. Here are 8 ways to make it happen.
I feel if I have decided to get married, I also have the responsibility to make it successful.
I feel if there is something that you can build with your partner on a daily basis then that is friendship and try to make it stronger with each passing day.
In the Indian society, marriage and love go hand in hand. If you're married to someone, you have no choice but to love the person. But will you be happy?
In the Indian society, marriage and love go hand in hand. If you’re married to someone, you have no choice but to love the person. But will you be happy?
Love is the name of the pure bond where you do things without expecting anything in return. It is the purest feeling anyone can experience in the world. This can be seen even in our mythological stories, especially those of Krishna and Radha. Krishna did everything he could to make sure Radha was happy without expecting anything in return. Though he knew their relationship might be labelled things by the society, he also knew their feelings were pure.
I think this is what love is – doing something unconditionally for someone. Even though Krishna married Rukmani, we all still say Krishna and Radha. We all pray that the beautiful bond between two people that doesn’t have a name be like Krishna and Radha’s. The two names can rarely be taken individually. They are always taken together.