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Why work is so important to a woman's life, and why every woman must try it to keep the smile on her face
Why work is so important to a woman’s life and why every woman must try it to keep the smile on her face.
You are a total home-bird said my colleague in those days, during the very beginning of my career. Though I disagreed completely, I might have believed her down the lane.
Years later, after short stints of jobs and no steady career, I decided, maybe she was right. I loved my home. I loved my time alone, and I really loved my house neat and tidy. But though home was what I had settled for, I had this constant urge to express myself, to contribute, to make a difference in this world.
I know it sounds far-fetched and too philosophical, but I don’t think I should have bought into what my friend suggested. I clearly believed her judgment about me and accepted myself as someone ‘homely’, but in a disempowering way.
Don’t we all do this? When we are too lazy to decide on what we want, we settle, for somebody else’s judgment of ourselves. I urge all women out there not to buy into an idea again. I want everyone to have their own ideas, besides what others have to say about them.
So when I was labeled homely, what did the world mean? Did it mean I was being bracketed as a cooking – baking machine type or as out-going, or as the go-getter? How many names? How many labels? There is no stopping. Open any weekly matrimonial ad supplement and all you find is people looking for labels. Homely v/s the career oriented, salaried or non-working, but why can’t I be both? I could be homely and have the passion to make a difference in the world, a drive to contribute my bit.
It was never necessary to conform, it was never a rule to follow any rules. You could be this and that, you could be everything you dreamt of. I am homely – it means I have good taste which reflects in the way I have done up my home. It certainly doesn’t mean I lack ambition or passion to do things outside of my home. That is why it is important that every woman has an occupation. Am I suggesting that everyone has a job?
I say No, a job is not a necessity, but work is, and here is why:
While we all could have our own lists on why we should totally work and rock, I would say, make your own list and put it up your favorite wall at home.
pic credit: funkyah (used under a CC license)
A writer and singer by soul and homemaker by role, I am Malini Misra. I have dabbled with all the aspects of media, be it print, television, and also worked on research of a book read more...
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Shows like Indian Matchmaking only further the argument that women must adhere to social norms without being allowed to follow their hearts.
When Netflix announced that Indian Matchmaking (2020-present) would be renewed for a second season, many of us hoped for the makers of the show to take all the criticism they faced seriously. That is definitely not the case because the show still continues to celebrate regressive patriarchal values.
Here are a few of the gendered notions that the show propagates.
A mediocre man can give himself a 9.5/10 and call himself ‘the world’s most eligible bachelor’, but an independent and successful woman must be happy with receiving just 60-70% of what she feels she deserves.
Darlings makes some excellent points about domestic violence . For such a movie to not follow through with a resolution that won't be problematic, is disappointing.
I watched Darlings last weekend, staying on top of its release on Netflix. It was a long-awaited respite from the recent flicks. I wanted badly to jump into its praise and will praise it, for something has to be said for the powerhouse performances it is packed with. But I will not be able to in a way that I really had wanted to.
I wanted to say that this is a must-watch on domestic violence that I stand behind and a needed and nuanced social portrayal. But unfortunately, I can’t. For I found Darlings to be deeply problematic when it comes to the portrayal of domestic violence and how that should be dealt with.
Before we rush to the ‘you must be having a problem because a man was hit’ or ‘much worse happens to women’ conclusions, that is not what my issue is. I have seen the praises and criticisms, and the criticisms of criticisms. I know, from having had close associations with non-profits and activists who fight domestic violence not just in India but globally, that much worse happens to women. I have written a book with case studies and statistics on that. Neither do I have any moral qualms around violence getting tackled with violence (that will be another post some day).