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Who makes the rules of Society? Is it all human beings or only a subset of them? If women made the rules of Society, would they be different?
“If I had a choice,
I would backpack
See the sights,
Swim the oceans,
Fly the skies,
Touch the moon,
If I had a choice….
Do I have a choice?
To not stay grounded,
Not work in the correct job,
Not marry one you choose,
Not be hounded by your moralities,
Not conform to your norms,
I made you,
And now you stalk me.
I told you to protect my like,
And now you attack me.
I could change you,
But I am bound by the rules I created.
Oh society! Give me the choice!
Society was a concept whose seeds were sown when humans beings started living as a community. Initially there were just a few families (yes, back in the Stone Ages). As the communities grew larger, there arose the need for a set of rules; rules to maintain order, to protect people’s interests, to protect their privacy, to make sure the race of humans progressed up the ladder of evolution.
Who would make these rules? Humans, of course. Although by then, the meaning of the term humans was slowly morphing into an equivalent for ‘man’. So the manifesto of what constitutes society was drawn up from a largely one-dimensional perspective, not a ‘human’s’ perspective but a ‘man’s’ perspective.
After centuries, people are now waking up to this realization that the definition of society is highly skewed. And there is a change, although very subtle. It may take another couple of generations before this change is noticeable. Call it moral rights, call it gender equality, or shroud it in a blanket of feminism, times are changing and the definition of ‘society’ as our fore’fathers’ defined it is changing with it.
This poem was originally published at Tell-A-Tale.com – reading and writing stories for our times.
Founder @Tell-A-Tale - I gobble stories and spit out new ones everyday; travel addict, software engineer, storywriter for brands, mentor, Renaissance woman in-the-making. read more...
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Shows like Indian Matchmaking only further the argument that women must adhere to social norms without being allowed to follow their hearts.
When Netflix announced that Indian Matchmaking (2020-present) would be renewed for a second season, many of us hoped for the makers of the show to take all the criticism they faced seriously. That is definitely not the case because the show still continues to celebrate regressive patriarchal values.
Here are a few of the gendered notions that the show propagates.
A mediocre man can give himself a 9.5/10 and call himself ‘the world’s most eligible bachelor’, but an independent and successful woman must be happy with receiving just 60-70% of what she feels she deserves.
Darlings makes some excellent points about domestic violence . For such a movie to not follow through with a resolution that won't be problematic, is disappointing.
I watched Darlings last weekend, staying on top of its release on Netflix. It was a long-awaited respite from the recent flicks. I wanted badly to jump into its praise and will praise it, for something has to be said for the powerhouse performances it is packed with. But I will not be able to in a way that I really had wanted to.
I wanted to say that this is a must-watch on domestic violence that I stand behind and a needed and nuanced social portrayal. But unfortunately, I can’t. For I found Darlings to be deeply problematic when it comes to the portrayal of domestic violence and how that should be dealt with.
Before we rush to the ‘you must be having a problem because a man was hit’ or ‘much worse happens to women’ conclusions, that is not what my issue is. I have seen the praises and criticisms, and the criticisms of criticisms. I know, from having had close associations with non-profits and activists who fight domestic violence not just in India but globally, that much worse happens to women. I have written a book with case studies and statistics on that. Neither do I have any moral qualms around violence getting tackled with violence (that will be another post some day).