Keen to learn more about inclusive workplaces? Want to be inclusive of the LGBTQ+ community? Learn more & request an invitation for a very special 2-hour session here!
Ads give us an "ideal" woman who is the perfect homemaker, career woman, mother and everything else. But, women Are All Right Just Being Themselves!
I was sitting at the dining table sorting the peas from the pod, or in short, “Mein matar cheel rahi thee”.
Do you mind? To my surprise, yes you do. Gumrah, a crime based show with real stories, was going on. I was engrossed watching that while finishing my kitchen work on the table. Break time, there’s a TV commercial, in between one of the crime based reality shows. The ad is an instant hit, as the main lead of the ad is a Bollywood super star. In the ad, she is in a great hurry as she doesn’t want to miss a bus to her college. Scene 2, she tells her friend to hurry, because she doesn’t want to peal peas all her life. Or rather she says, “Nahi to zindagi bhar matar cheelne padenge”.
I cringed seeing this, threw the peas away, back into the fridge and swore by the frozen matar. “Never again will I ever get into healthy eating”, I swore to myself. This ad actually made me feel bad about myself; it made me think, that a double graduate is sitting at home pealing peas. My dad’s face came to my mind, saying, “Isi liye padha likhakar bheja tha?” (Is this why I sent you to study?); my mom saying, “Kuch car beta nahi to zindagi bhar…” (Do something, else all your life….)
Oh God, these peas were not getting out of my head.
Now, I am not ok with this commercial or many such commercials which make it sound as if a modern woman who has her head on her shoulders, has to work or do something outside of home to be a woman of substance; otherwise, she is the peas peeler. Hey! Peeling out peas is an art, which is underrated, in today’s market of readymade, packed groceries. I am all for healthy eating, and thus decided to stop buying the green packet of frozen peas that has an expiry date, which surpasses years.
Will someone tell the advertising world that not all home makers or peas peelers feel sorry for themselves, not all mummyjees take their daughters-in-law out for kitty parties, not all women out of jobs are frustrated yummy mummies, not all women not keen on starting all over again are lost souls in search of a purpose in life, not all pretty ladies who don’t work-out are fat and dream of being thin, that some of them are very happy being plump and full, that not all women who stay at home rely on their husbands credit cards or go shopping to the malls every second day, not all mothers dream of bringing home a perfect daughter-in-law and leading a happy retired life which is more like a vacation?
It is all so clichéd. It makes women feel inadequate and incomplete if you are not doing “something”.
I may sit at home, master the art of peas peeling, or paneer making, not be a great cook but do a decent job with it, have simple tastes, simple dreams and wait for my husband for an evening cup of tea; what is wrong with that? I may not be frustrated about not having a career, I may just be alright with pursuing something I love or even looking after the health of my family which involves a lot of things, like cooking three proper meals a day, providing nourishment in the form of juices, salads, fresh matar and what not.
Women are all right just being themselves; don’t fill us in with an ‘ideal’ idea about us. We are ok the way we are, even if we have to do “matar cheelna”.
Pic credit: BK (Used under a Creative Commons license)
A writer and singer by soul and homemaker by role, I am Malini Misra. I have dabbled with all the aspects of media, be it print, television, and also worked on research of a book read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, indivisual posts do not necessarily represent the platofrom's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
We can’t bombard impressionable young women in the name of enlightened entertainment to feed them the same drivel. At least let us not label misogynist movies as helping the cause of women.
I have watched at least 2 ‘purported’ trailblazing Bollywood movies in the recent past that left me with a feeling that I had taken part in the ice-bucket challenge all over again. This time around, however, without even the satisfaction of having supported a worthy cause.
Both the movies have about a 90% liking rate on IMDB/Rotten Tomatoes. Both are touted to ‘sensitively’ portray the taboo topics that seem to be mostly hidden underneath a layer of banana peels – dangerous to even tread nearby.
Dushyanta clearly remembered everything. But he didn't have any intention to accept a poor woman from a remote hermitage as his wife and her son as theirs.
Dushyanta clearly remembered everything. But he didn’t have any intention to accept a poor woman from a remote hermitage as his wife and her son as theirs.
She sat motionless on the royal bed, her knees drawn up to her chin, staring vacantly outside the palace window.
She was sheathed in exquisite scarlet red silk, shot through with golden threads forming intricate traditional patterns. Chests of gems and jewellery were strewn all over the bed. The maids were fussing over whether a diamond-studded necklace would suit their queen or a gold choker would look better. Another younger maid was arranging her tresses in a coiffeur.
Winter vegetables will not be so easily available as we move into spring and summer. Try out these sumptuous Indian recipes before they are all gone.
I switched on the fan in our Bangalore home after months, which reminded me that summer is just around the corner. When I checked the temperature two days back, it was already close to 35 degrees and I just could not believe it! Hence I loaded my cart with all the winter vegetables available, as they might disappear from the market anytime soon.
Here is a list of recipes you might want to try one last time for this season, before the golden mango season starts!
“Your primary responsibility is to our family, Priya. Anyway, this is a temporary situation and will become redundant when work from office resumes. Until then, learn to adjust."
“Your primary responsibility is to our family, Priya. Anyway, this is a temporary situation and will become redundant when work from office resumes. Until then, learn to adjust.”
The news anchor cried hoarse over pollution. The temple bell jingled from another corner. The loud whistle of the pressure cooker interjected the morning quiet of the house.
Priya sprinted from the kitchen, both her hands occupied. With her hair covered in a towel, the red bindi in her forehead shone brighter than the early rays of dawn. She placed the morning cup of tea for her father-in-law at the centre table of the living room before handing over the pot of holy water to her mother-in-law in the puja room. With the breakfast prepared, she switched off the gas.