A story of love, loss and second chances by Nikita Singh, releasing this Valentine’s Day.
Are you taking care of the calcium needs of your child ?
Dear Fellow Countrymen,
As I write this down, I am in tears. It gives me a choking discomfort and terrible pain to pen down this obituary. This obituary does not speak of a woman dying a sad death after being raped or tortured, but about the sad demise of humanity amongst a nation of beings with whom live the hundreds of women who have no clue how they are being sucked into a black hole of predators just looking for them to fulfill sexual pleasures; of predators who look for the chance to assert their ‘manly’ power, of predators who smile inside when a female foetus is not allowed birth in this land.
This might be an obituary for many men around you, women too. And sadly, if you read this and look away, this might be an obituary to that little human heart of yours. Therefore, this might be the biggest obituary written in history (read: of the second most populated country in the world); of hoards of men and women, who might feel this is an obituary to them. Because even when you are breathing, you are dead inside. And while the Nation still claims to be highly populated with different categories of Indians, blood sucking Vampires in human form are the ones that make the biggest class, caste and community of this country.
This is your obituary, if one day you told your wife/daughter/daughter-in-law to get her womb tested for determining the Gender (not sex, because before her birth is decided her life) of the baby. This is also your obituary if you tortured a woman for dowry. This is your obituary because you died inside the day you lurked at a woman as a sex object, and yours too if no matter how much you loved your wife, you beat her up at home in order to showcase your masculinity, the strength of being a man – powerful.
This is your obituary too if you as a woman tortured another for not following the gender norms, social rules. This is the obituary of those innumerable men and women who at some point or another didn’t realize that it is their duty to stand up and fight for humanity, womanhood, even if they are not facing anything themselves; after all watching in silence is a crime too.
An obituary of the numerous politicians who fail to recognize what an important issue women’s safety is, who call a woman ‘dented and painted‘ if she makes a choice, who tell women who are sex workers that they are criminals, who think that all women’s issues are not of national importance. This is an obituary to those numerous women who are swimming deep in power, strong enough to shut out the voices in their head, voices of women who are in pain. This is an obituary to those youngsters who find happiness is all about material assets while they walk past that woman who is being tortured by her family, and those who bear the torture thrown upon them too. An obituary of those educated, cultured and so-called high-class people sitting in offices thinking of how to ignore these daily reports of gang rapes, rapes, dowry deaths and suicides of women, yes this is it.
The day you thought that feminism was all about women, you died. The day you thought that those women who fight for their rights can be silenced by being harassed, tortured, abused or raped, you died. The day you thought that a woman is not equal to a man in terms of human rights and freedom, you died. The day you made bread out of a career in this field, silently torturing women around you in your house, you died. The day patriarchy was logical to you, you died. The day you thought that your wife should only be born to feed, reproduce and take care of you, you died. The day you thought that women are the weaker sex, yes, you my friend died.
While Patriarchy crippled us, the National history of women’s movements and support haven’t been of any help either. This is an obituary of the past, the hard work done to create a global uproar by women in this land of hungry monsters, men and women both. This is an obituary of a failed national system of governance, of the law, of the policies, of the family culture and dynamics that fails to teach us as citizens, as humans, the difference between right and wrong, the difference between crime and punishment, the difference between human and evil.
As I write this, I am in a lot of pain. Writing on behalf of those hundreds of women who left this land of living hell to may be a better place far far away, for their voices went with them, for their unspoken pains will never be penned. And as I write, I feel another pain towards those many more who are living in hell here. I am saddened, also a little disgusted at the sight of those laughing men and women who escape the heinous crimes they commit against women, and at the faces of victory of those who help them escape.
Those policemen who bring shame to women, yes, you are trusted upon the task to protect, and when you do inhuman deeds, I am ashamed. To those hundreds of lawyers, doctors, teachers, politicians, bureaucrats, parents, management gurus, celebrities, and yes media professionals, sadly this is an obituary of the educated, polished, looked-up-to (down by me) you.
Dharnas for issues as low as demanding a certain person to walk away from his job seem to be taking over the freedom movements of women. While the media can’t stop talking about the baby of a celebrity, the woman who was brutally raped by 12 men, and one who was killed seems to be an issue of less national importance. Today, this is an obituary of all those moments where the media and people have let us down. This is an obituary, of not one or two but those unaccounted men and women around who think women’s rights and issues concerned are not of immediate importance.
Sadly, this will remain just another piece of a voice among those many different voices that are being shouted from the corner of every village, town and state of India. When a woman is killed somewhere, or tortured, a little part of humanity dies every second. This is a sad reminder that India has become a land where economy takes over human rights, where people fight for a statement made by an opponent before they fight for a raped woman, where she is just another case dumped in the pile of files in a court, making her life worth nothing more than a few sessions of court room drama.
Do I rest my case or is my Case adjourned? This is my obituary to a dying, prosperous land which is economically growing but somewhere has become hollow inside. While you read this, yet another rape case, a case of suicide of a woman will be making headlines. I wonder how do you sleep?
May your soulless bodies Never Rest in Peace.
Pic credit: The Advocacy Project (Used under a Creative Commons license)
A Development Communication & Social Work professional working in the field of gender, health and technology
Your writings impressed me and I salute you particularly working on Development communication.
Dr Mrs Sushma Joiya Pandit
Integrated Congress of Women Entrepreneurs
Entrepreneurship Skilkl Development Polytechnics inIndia
Thank you Dr Sushma!
no no suchi ,it is not the sad demise of humanity.dont b negative in this beautiful world.this is the piece of humanity stays in u and our type of persons who r crying for it ,who knows the importance of it .dear dont b sad rather promise to point out the decsending ladder where by mistake of certain demons humanity has been pushed to .we have to bring it back to the ascending martix. promise to to keep an eye on it always to keep the light of humanity burning always.Mahatma Gandhi says ‘life persists even in the midst of destructions.Happy Republic Day .Jai HIND
This article sounds grand but is inconsistently written. Obituary would mean that the ills pointed out in this post have died; which is far from true and also not what you seem to want to say, correct Ms Gaur? If you’ve written my obituary you don’t have to wonder how i sleep. i am dead.
Well, Divya..the obituary was not to b taken in literal sense. at least that ws not how i saw it. I guess, i meant more from a humanity side. this was to me an obituary of soul not body.
A very moving and profound, beautifully written piece. I have shared this on my FB page, but will share it further. You are an amazing humanitarian and writer. Your empathy and compassion comes through in your writing, as does your dispair and disgust, making this a very powerful piece. You are destined to change the world. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, which have the power to transform.
Dear Suchi, I beleive this battle will stop when some angry rebels (some volentary men (whose wives ,sisters or even daugthers’ have been snatched away from them and they were not given justices), who are ready to shed thier life) will rape, the lawyers’ , the cops’ and the jugdes’ daughters , wives or even thier sisters . I know it is very immature point of view from my side, but i think it is the only way of shaking the callousness of the these monsters or else I quote you ” where she is just another case dumped in the pile of files in a court, making her life worth nothing more than a few sessions of court room drama.” We have enough written articles of our dispair and disgust society , NOW IT IS THE TIME TO ACT ACT ACT. Nothing but action BECAUSE ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS !!!!! At this point of time This is the Real Revolutionary . Our Revolutionary . Although there will be lot bloodshed,but this bloodshed will be the path of Freedom to woman, As Mangal Pandey started the mutiny of sepoys,the first one to shak up the whole Britishers , like that it will be OUR FIGHT ANGAINST PATRIARCHY . These monsters will wake up to feel the same pain as the rape victim’s family gone through. Then only ” her case will not be dumped in pile of files in a court”
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