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Why the double standards for women when it comes to everyday life? If we want our girls to rock, we have to start with the small things
A few months back, I was meeting up with one of my male friends and my aunt was with me. While we were talking, my friend, who is a bachelor, mentioned that he eats food from outside almost every day. To this, my aunt – who is educated, broad-minded, friendly and fun – responded almost instantly, “Oh that’s not good for your health. Get married soon.” Um, excuse me?! She could have said, “Hire a cook” or better yet, “Learn to cook”, but her solution was – Get married, because then someone will cook for you.
So, is that why a girl needs to get married? Of course, there is nothing wrong in a wife cooking for her husband, but surely, the answer to a man’s longing for home food is not marriage? If a girl had complained about eating from restaurants every day, I wonder if anyone would have given her the same suggestion.
I’ve had long hair for as long as I can remember and it was getting to be boring. So I decided to get a pixie cut for a change and headed to the salon. When I explained my preferences to the hair stylist, she paused for a moment, eyed my long locks and asked, “Won’t you husband be angry with you if you cut your hair so short?” I reassured her and asked her to go ahead, but I couldn’t help but ponder over her peculiar question.
If she had said “surprised” or even “shocked”, it wouldn’t have bothered me so much; but angry? For a haircut? Really? So, I need to get my husband’s permission before I can go and cut my hair? I wonder if anybody asks a man, “Won’t your wife be angry if you shave your head?”
Both these incidents are simple, casual occurrences, which are rather unremarkable – except for the glaring double standards. Gender stereotyping is so ingrained in us that often, we don’t recognize it even when it is staring us straight in our eyes. Every day, we come across numerous such instances which we tend to dismiss as being insignificant in the larger scheme of things. However, the truth is that our girls are continuously being sent these messages from a very young age, until they themselves start believing in them.
If we want things to change, then that change must begin with us – within us, within our homes. If we want our girls to rock, then we need to be the agents of change. If we want our girls to grow up into strong and independent individuals, it is high time we changed our attitudes and tackled these double standards that are so widely prevalent in our daily lives. The small things matter too; the small things do add up. So, whether it is encouraging our sons to step into the kitchen or helping our daughters embrace and accept themselves, let’s start today.
Today’s changemaker that we’d like to highlight is FAT or the Feminist Approach to Technology, a New-Delhi based organization that seeks to improve women’s (and especially young women and girls) access to and comfort level with technology.
FAT believes that as technology evolves and continues to be a crucial determinant of one’s quality of life, it is important for women from all walks of life, to be able to use it in their work and home life. To this aim, FAT runs a technology center for women besides technical training programs and advocacy in schools, colleges and other such places where they can reach out to young women. You can read more about FAT’s work in our article on social entrepreneurs in India.
To support FAT’s work, consider becoming a volunteer. Not all of the volunteering roles need a physical presence in Delhi. You can also follow their work via their Facebook page or on Twitter.
Pic credit: Nisha (Used under a Creative Commons license)
Anne John loves to play with words and calls herself a reader, writer, explorer & dreamer. She has a wide range of interests and has recently jumped onto the Mommy Vlogger bandwagon! read more...
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Half a decade ago marriage was a bargain between two famlies. Most of the women were married off to a man who was either well off or who could fend for his wife and family. Today the parameters of marriage have changed. Women no longer marry for the sake of economic security. Their expectations from marriage have changed in the course of years because of their changed status.
As women grew independent, their patterns of choosing partners have changed dramatically. Now women choose men who they feel can satiate their emotional as well as physical needs. Intimacy is no longer the physicality that happened between two people under the supervision of elders of the family for the sole purpose of procreation. Intimacy in today’s marriages involve understanding and fulfilling each other’s emotional as well as sexual needs.
So before you decide to hook up see if you know these five things about intimacy.
The recent Bold Care ad breaks some long standing taboos in Indian society about women's sexual pleasure and erectile dysfunction in men.
The co-owner of the new sexual health brand – Bold Care, Ranveer Singh, recently shared that he wants to focus at creating awareness amongst people about men’s sexual health and aims to provide a tangible solution to millions of people across the country. The new Bold Care ad which was dropped last week has taken the internet by storm. Netizens are ogling at the ad and cannot stop talking about it and how?
The Bold Care ad has created a buzz for multiple reasons. One, because of the unexpected collaboration between the A-list Bollywood actor and co-owner of the brand – Ranveer Singh and (wait for it… drumrolls please) the adult film star Johnny Sins.
People were not ready to see Johnny Sins in an Indian commercial ad and had their jaws dropped to the floor when they saw him dressed in a blue kurta and a golden coat and tie acting in a saas-bahu rip off. The internauts have claimed this unusual duo as the biggest crossover ever – bigger than Deadpool and Wolverine coming together! Second, the ad aims to normalise the stigma related to men’s sexual wellbeing and the ease with which it can be addressed.
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