What actions should HR and business leaders take to curb mental harassment at work? Share your thoughts.
A beautiful love story, shared in retrospect; A boy and a girl meet at a training academy, but only one of them gets through. What follows next?
Ages ago I had passed the preliminary and the main civil services exam and was awaiting my interview date. My father had been caught by surprise that his good for nothing son had reached so far, and in his wisdom (and without asking me) he arranged for me to attend a one-week coaching for the interview in Delhi. I protested, but left for Delhi with no intention of attending the coaching classes.
A friend of mine put me up in Delhi and when I told him I had no wish to join the coaching, he cajoled me into at least having a look at the coaching centre. I did, and arrived at the centre on the appointed day. Among the so many people waiting in the reception area, a girl caught my eye, and we talked about this and that. It was because of her that I attended the coaching on all the six days; and on the last day we exchanged addresses (those were the days of snail mail) and left.
Interviews over; I passed and shortly before joining the Academy I had a letter from her congratulating me and telling me she didn’t get through. We continued to correspond, and while in the Academy, I proposed to her through a letter that took a lifetime to write! In return I got a letter from her brother reminding me of the differences in our cultures (she a Malayalee and me a Punjabi), and telling me that while there were no objections, they neither gave nor accepted dowry (I think my being a Punjabi had something to do with this!). While on the subject of dowry, I had already been offered, among other things, a cinema hall in Hyderabad, and a farm house somewhere around Delhi! (The cinema hall baffles me till date, what was I supposed to do with it?)
Later that year we IAS trainees were taken for what is known as a ‘Bharat Darshan’, and once my group reached Cochin, I asked the faculty member accompanying us to allow me two days off; he told me I could only be allowed leave on compassionate grounds, and what such grounds did I have? I had none, so I asked for leave on passionate grounds, and it was promptly granted with a grin!
I was being adventurous – I had no clue of Kerala or where Kottayam (that’s where she lived) was; I didn’t know the language, I hadn’t told her I would turn up, and yet I went, found her house, and there she was, open mouthed and confused. Her folks were gracious enough to let me stay with them, the date of the wedding decided without much ado. I had already told my parents about her and that had created some consternation in the family.
Once the training course was over, I, along with a batch-mate of mine from Kerala traveled second class by train from Delhi to Kerala in sweltering heat (we had no money for the good things of life like air-conditioned travel or flying), and that’s how I got married in Kerala, Kerala style! Except for my brother, no one from my side attended. Everybody from my wife’s side was there. (We later had a Punjabi wedding, too – a rather subdued affair by Punjabi standards!)
She has been the source of my strength in bad times, she has taught me patience, she has stood by me through everything, and she has given us two lovely daughters.
Pic credit: Davidyuweb (Used under a creative commons license)
I am a former bureaucrat, and have worked a lot on gender issues, disaster management and good governance. I am also the proud father of two lovely daughters. read more...
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I wanted to scream with excitement that my daughter chose to write about her ambition and aspirations over everything else first. To me, this was one of those parenting 'win' moments.
My daughter turned eight years old in January, and among the various gifts she received from friends and family was an absolutely beautiful personal journal for self-growth. A few days ago, she was exploring the pages when she found a section for writing a letter to her future self. She found this intriguing and began jotting down her thoughts animatedly.
My curiosity piqued and she could sense it immediately. She assured me that she would show me the letter soon, and lo behold, she kept her word.
I glanced at her words, expecting to see a mention of her parents in the first sentence. But, to my utter delight, the first thing she had written about was her AMBITION. Yes, the caps here are intentional because I want to scream with excitement that my daughter chose to write about her ambition and aspirations over everything else first. To me, this was one of those parenting ‘win’ moments.
Uorfi Javed has been making waves through social media, and is often the target of trolls. So who and what exactly is this intriguing young woman?
Uorfi Javed (no relation to Javed Akhtar) is a name that crops up in my news feeds every now and again. It is usually because she got trolled for being in some or other ‘daring’ outfit and then posting those images on social media. If I were asked, I would not be able to name a single other reason why she is famous. I am told that she is an actor but I would have no frankly no clue about her body of work (pun wholly unintended).
So is Urfi Javed (or Uorfi Javed as she prefers) famous only for being famous? How does she impact the cause of feminism by permitting herself to be objectified, trolled, reviled?
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