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In honour of Father’s Day: Samar Halarnkar, Consulting Editor with the Hindustan Times and Mint, talks about parenting and what fatherhood means to him.
Samar Halarnkar writes columns on emerging India, on the cutting edge of science and technology and on creative cooking from a male perspective. He lives in Bangalore with his wife and works from home, looking after his two-year-old daughter.
Give us a single line that encapsulates what fatherhood means to you.
It’s the biggest balancing act of my life
Are you a different father today than what your father was? How? In what ways are you similar?
I guess I am. My father was rarely around because he was a policeman. My mother brought me up, taught me to cook and clean. So, I can look after my home in a way my father never could.
But my father and I are similar in that we wanted girls. He got two boys instead and instead of trying for another, he named his house after the daughter he never had. Since we adopted, I made sure we got a girl.
How would you describe your fathering style?
I think I am pretty laid back (though my wife disagrees). I am very particular about certain things: eating on time, eating well and no running around. So, a bit of a discliplinarian in certain matters, but in some things I do whatever she wants — specifically in exploring the outdoors, swinging from things, running, leaping. I think my fathering style is geared to making her physically tough.
Has fatherhood been as you expected it to be? If no, what was the biggest difference between your expectations and reality?
Pretty much, though the biggest difference in expectations and reality has been the amount of time it actually soaks up!
What is the most important lesson that fatherhood has taught you?
Patience.
*Photo credit: mharvey.nyc (Used under the Creative Commons Attribution License.)
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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