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Teaching kids right from wrong has never been easy because many issues are not black and white. These parenting tips are helpful.
Teaching kids right from wrong has never been easy because many issues are not black and white. You will find these parenting tips helpful.
“Mumma, he hit me”, my three and a half-year-old said as soon as she came in after a long and exhausting day at school. “What did you do then? Did you push him back?,” I looked at her questioningly. “No, you said no, we should not hit anyone. It is BAD,” came a quick and curt answer. “Yes, that is true,” was all I could say at that moment as she had put me in yet another catch-22 situation.
However, it led me into thinking as to whether it is just white or black or can there be shades of grey when it comes to teaching our kids the ‘rights and the wrongs’? Children ask questions, a lot of questions – so much so that at times we are deep in the rigmarole of their ‘whys and hows’. We are mere mortals, who generally address their queries by just putting a flag of ‘yes, it is good’ and ‘no, it is bad’. In our bid to save ourselves from a long interrogation, we as parents do not touch upon the grey areas which in turn are left unaddressed.
They take us very seriously. And come to think of it, why wouldn’t they? For them, we are the epitome of morality.
Children are impressionable. They take us very seriously. And come to think of it, why wouldn’t they? For them, we are the epitome of morality. So, it is of utmost importance that we take them seriously as well and strive to have a discussion with them (yes, even with toddlers, they have a mind of their own), whenever they ask a pertinent question.
This brings us to the next pivotal question, that can we answer all our children’s queries in the best possible manner? Well, as I said, life is not white and black. You as a responsible and ethically sound parent would tell your child to “Never hit anyone” as it is “Bad”. But, if one fine day, you realize that your child has become the easiest prey for a bully on the pretext of his ‘good’ behaviour inculcated by none other than you, I am sure you will take a pause and brood over it. No parent would want to raise meek children.
From what I have learned in my few years as a parent I was able to come up with the following ground rules so as to instill morality and a sense of right and wrong in a balanced way.
Like adults, children too do not take well to an overdose of preaching. Neither strive to make him a Gandhi nor a Hitler. Try and strike a balance. Once she grows up, she would be able to think as to what ideals to follow but as a kid, it is best to take a middle path.
Leave some things at Nature’s disposal. As they say, Nature is the best teacher. Let your child learn some things on his own by experiences with other children and by the usual humdrum of his carefree life. Trust me, she will learn things which no book can teach her.
Every child is different in his own special way. Your child may be reticent while your neighbour’s on the other hand, may be unrestrained. We as parents like to bring out the best in our children so as to enable them to conquer the world, but we should remember to keep their intrinsic nature alive. Making her what she is not will end up botching her persona.
Mother and child image via Shutterstock
First published at mycity4kids
Meha has worked as a Business Analyst in an elite IT firm and as a full time professor in management colleges. Having earned an MBA degree in Human Resource Management and an MA degree in read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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