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The second entry that made it to our shortlist for this month’s writing theme is a spunky and bold Resolution Story by Roopa.
Roopa Prabhakar, in her own words: I’m a new mother, a working woman who believes her face is plastered on the glass ceiling, a closet feminist and writer.
I thought long and hard on what my New Year resolution should be. Amidst the usual weight loss, career goals, hobby-hunting, ideal mother/wife/daughter soap-opera stuff there was one idea silently screaming out in my head – be a real BAD ASS BITCH this year……
At first I ignored it and put it down to hormones as it was that time of the month (my husband jokes that I am either PMS’ing or CRYing) but then, as I turned the thought over in my head it didn’t seem so bad. In fact, I warmed up to it so much that I decided to write this article.
First and foremost let’s get the definition of “BAD ASS” correct. To me it’s about not being apologetic about myself, my opinions, feelings or decisions in any given situation. To be able to dig my heels in and stick to my guns in the face of all emotional manipulation and care two figs for all the rules and regulations designed for woman in our society. To imbibe the good values of the South-Indian upbringing I’ve had but reject some of the BS such as “girls should be seen and not heard” and “it is the woman who always suffers”. To be able to navigate successfully across the minefield of motherhood, marriage, career and daughterly duties with ease and not be blown to smithereens whenever I battle issues like guilt, aggressive behaviour, gender bias etc
I am really looking forward to being a bad ass bitch in my career. For too long I’ve kept the real me under wraps for fear that I might come across as too aggressive ,ambitious, arrogant or god forbid the mother or all sins for a woman – too bloody money minded. The last time I checked in the corporate world, these very same qualities were in the “credit” section for a guy and were automatically transferred to the “debit” section for a woman. For some unfathomable reason these attributes are all pardonable crimes or even fall in the “must have a little of these things to be successful” category for a male but for a female the most important thing is balance, be content with her lot, be nurturing and in short as she ages to transform from the pretty young thing with cute ideas to a benign matronly figure who is to be respected but never heard. In 2012 the simple answer to folks with the above ideology is “BITE ME!!” To which the most natural response by these people would be to add the word “BITCH” to my middle name which I am so looking forward to.
Being a BAD ASS in my personal life will certainly have its challenges and in this scenario the person I have to wage war against is myself. I am so indecisive that it drives everyone up the wall, I yield to the manipulations of my better half/close relatives without so much as a token fight and I am always conscious of how my role as mother/wife/daughter appears in the eyes of society. This deep-rooted, self inflicted disease which makes me place such a high value on social conformity needs to be treated and cured completely. I have a lot of “growing up” to do in this area but 2012 might just be the year I do that in.
So bring it on 2012, I am going to be kick your ass!
(If the Mayans are right we are going to die anyways so it’s better to die as a BAD ASS BITCH than as little Ms. Goody Two Shoes)
*Photo credit: liberalmind1012
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Totally loved this article. Brilliantly written.
I resolve to be a Bad Ass Bitch too this year! Thanks for inspiration!
Loved your post!
Somehow unconsciously I have changed my attitude since January this year(when i got back to work after a 2 year break)
I have become more confident about myself, my needs and have refused to give in to MIL’s or any other relative’s taunts..
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