Learn how to become better allies to people with disabilities, download the Randstad exclusive ED&I 2022 report.
Conventional wisdom regards working with your spouse in the same organisation as a bad idea. Being together 24*7 - too close for comfort?
Conventional wisdom regards working with your spouse in the same organisation as a bad idea. Being together 24*7 – too close for comfort?
By Melanie Lobo
Some sectors like the IT industry, media, advertising, medicine and teaching actually encourage ‘coworking’ (spouses in the same organisation), although most companies do not allow couples to work in the same team or have a boss-subordinate relationship.
The Indian context may have its own peculiarities. For example, Lopamudra Roy, Regional MR Manager for a reputed MNC, Mumbai says one of the biggest advantages of working with her husband is that they get to spend more quality time. Lopa joined the firm a month ago, while her husband, now a Regional Brand Manager has been working there for over six years. One advantage of her move has been that she and her husband can travel to work together. Commute times in Mumbai being extremely high, this comes as a relief. It’s also become easier to find a place to stay within easy reach of office for both of them! (Besides, couples working together in the same firm also save on transport costs as they use one vehicle).
Apart from practical issues like transport, couples working together in the same company also find it easy to discuss their experiences and problems with someone who truly understands. This can be especially important for women, who often find that their career and problems at work are not given as much importance. A study by Cornell University researchers called Two Careers, One Employer: Couples Working for the Same Corporation (PDF) found that “…one in two coworking men and four in 10 coworking women report that neither partner’s career takes priority, whereas only one in five non-coworking men and women say this is the case…Thus, the coworking strategy appears especially considerate of women’s careers.”
…one in two coworking men and four in 10 coworking women report that neither partner’s career takes priority, whereas only one in five non-coworking men and women say this is the case…Thus, the coworking strategy appears especially considerate of women’s careers.
However, with the advantage of such understanding also creeps in the problem of where to draw the line. Do misunderstandings at work spill over at home? Dipali Ekbote, Business Development Manager at a leading IT company in Pune, worked in the same organization as her husband for over five years. She states that the two of them decided “to never carry work home”. She adds, “At home, we ensured our dinner time conversations were about the kids and the family, and not about our work”. They also never let personal problems interfere with their work. “In fact”, she says,”most of the new recruits at work did not even know that we were married! I had my own set of colleagues and so did he.”
There are other disadvantages too such as dealing with resentment if one partner gets a promotion or increment while the other does not. Whether or not a couple can handle these depends on how mature both are, and should be looked at carefully before taking the decision to work together. Shivani Kaul, Senior Software Engineer at a well known IT company in Pune, who met her husband (a Technical Project Manager) at work 5 years ago, however, does not find it an issue. According to her, professional competitiveness does not come into the picture at all as they are both mature enough to handle this aspect of working in the same organisation. Given the Indian social context though, where the husband is still seen as the ‘main’ breadwinner and ‘head of the family’, not every fragile male ego can deal with a more successful female spouse at the same firm.
Given the Indian social context though, where the husband is still seen as the ‘main’ breadwinner and ‘head of the family’, not every fragile male ego can deal with a more successful female spouse at the same firm.
Financially, Shivani and her husband feel that it is not a very good idea to work in the same organization as both could lose their jobs if the company was to be in trouble. However, at the moment, the pros outweigh the cons and so they intend to keep working together. Another practical challenge is that of planning long holidays together – especially if spouses work on the same or related team.
Keep your personal life to yourselves. Every marriage has its problems. Keep them at home. No one at office wants to know about them; besides, you end up looking unprofessional and silly if you fight at work.
Have your own set of friends. Just because you work together, does not mean that you have to spend every tea break/lunch break together. Mingle with other people. This also prevents colleagues from treating you as a ‘unit.’
And finally, don’t obsess over work. While your spouse may help you with understanding or resolving issues at work, your relationship will not grow if you keep discussing work all the time.
Make sure work is only one of the many interests you continue to enjoy together.
Melanie Lobo is a freelance writer. She grew up in cities across India but now calls Pune home. Her husband and son keep her on her toes and inspire her with new writing material daily. read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
Rajshri Deshpande, who played the fiery protagonist in Trial by Fire along with Abhay Deol speaks of her journey and her social work.
Rajshri Deshpande as the protagonist in ‘Trial by Fire’, the recent Netflix show has received raving reviews along with the show itself for its sensitive portrayal of the Uphaar Cinema Hall fire tragedy, 1997 and its aftermath.
The limited series is based on the book by the same name written by Neelam and Shekhar Krishnamoorthy, who lost both their children in the tragedy. We got an opportunity to interview Rajshri Deshpande who played Neelam Krishnamoorthy, the woman who has been relentlessly crusading in the court for holding the owners responsible for the sheer negligence.
Rajshri Deshpande is more than an actor. She is also a social warrior, the rare celebrity from the film industry who has also gone back to her roots to give to poverty struck farming villages in her native Marathwada, with her NGO Nabhangan Foundation. Of course a chance to speak with her one on one was a must!
“What is a woman’s job, Ramesh? Taking care of parents-in-law, husband, children, home and things at work—all at the same time? She isn’t God or a superhuman."
The arrays of workstations were occupied by people peering into their computer screens. The clicks of keyboard keys were punctuated by the occasional footsteps moving around to brainstorm or collaborate with colleagues in their cubicles. Most employees went about their tasks without looking at the person seated on either side of their workstation. Meenakshi was one of them.
The thirty-one-year-old marketing manager in a leading eCommerce company in India sat straight in her seat, her eyes on the screen, her fingers punching furiously into the keys. She was in a flow and wanted to finish the report while the thoughts and words were coming effortlessly into her mind.
Natu-Natu. The mellifluous ringtone interrupted her thoughts. She frowned at her mobile phone with half a mind to keep it ringing until she noticed the caller’s name on the screen, making her pick up the phone immediately.
Please enter your email address