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Men give weird reasons for divorcing their wives & are are supported. For women, no reason is good enough to walk away from a bad marriage!
Why women seeking divorce don’t get the support they deserve? People around them support them to go ahead with the divorce and desert that woman without an ounce of remorse. Even if the girl’s family had spent a fortune on getting her married and forces her to stay with the husband, she is pushed away mercilessly since she ‘does not deserve the husband’.
However, when men seek divorce their wives for various reasons which may include weird ones, they get enough support from family and friends.
Not giving birth to a boy – though it is their chromosomes decide that.
Not being able to conceive a child – even without finding out who has the infertility.
For not being good in bed – though the women’s needs are ignored.
For not taking care of his family which may include his parents, brothers, sisters, or their extended family – though he may never bother to support or help her family.
For not doing the chores – though he may laze around without helping her.
For dressing inappropriately – though he may well walk around in an underwear.
For being of loose morals – there are no loose morals for men.
Everyone jumps to advise the woman to refrain from taking this drastic step. She is advised to not destroy her family and her parent’s reputation and spoil her life. If she has children, the pressure is multiplied trifold. Now change this situation to women seeking divorce.
Her husband is infertile – No test is targeted at him.
He is impotent – How can you say that?
He is not dedicated to a job – don’t pressurize him. That will lead him down the wrong path.
Her in-laws meddle with her life – They are elders, respecting them is her duty.
Her husband is abusive – women have seen worse and yet finally their patience has paid off.
He has an affair – Yet he has not left you for her.
He doesn’t care for her or provide for her – You can ask your parental family for help.
Doesn’t help in chores around the house even a bit – How shameless can you be to expect it?
Doesn’t allow her to visit her family often – You are given away now. Why do you want to visit them at all?
Is a drunkard – But he does love and care for you right?
Hits the wife – Do not provoke him.
Doesn’t allow her to work – Good for you. Let him provide for you and children. You can relax and take care of home.
Why will you not support me? – Breaking a home is a sin.
These are just a few examples of real-life situations I have seen or observed as a counsellor. The list would be unending with trivial reasons working as a strong case for divorcing a wife whereas even very horrendous crimes by husband or in-laws are not enough for a woman to get her divorce peacefully.
The sad part is the lack of support and rejection she receives even from her very close friends or family members.
One of the very unfair practices is that of men blaming women giving birth to daughters. Even with science advancing and even children knowing that it’s the Y chromosome (from the male partner) that decides the gender of a boy, the blame game has not changed.
Yet, we never hear a woman divorce her husband for not giving her either a son or a daughter. No matter how much we progress, the illogical and patriarchal norms cannot be combated easily.
Image source: Still from Thappad
I am Farida Rizwan, 57, Counselor and Psychotherapist working as Senior Curriculum Developer with Chimple Learning. I am the founder of My Giggle Garden, Preschool, and Daycare. I am an ardent blogger @www.chaptersfrommylife.com read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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