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Today if I were to meet my younger self, how would I feel? What would I say to her? Rather, would I have something to say to her?
Yes, I would have lots to say, I believe.
My present self, having the advantage of hindsight and maturity would be able to advise, guide and warn my naive, younger self about several things. Though having said that, I would not like to warn her about everything because I would want her to learn from her mistakes and live with them. Because every mistake will teach her something new, something critical, a life lesson, that will help her to grow and evolve.
My younger self of thirty years ago, lovely, innocent and youthful, on the brink of taking on life…
I would look at her and tell her that you do have a long way to go, but that’s ok. The way forward will be your journey towards becoming your true self. Today you seem under-confident, unsure of yourself but don’t fret. You will grow out of it. Don’t listen to others; don’t let their judgements get to you. They are just trying to control you, run your life. Eventually, you will be able to see through them and their tactics and be able to rise above them.
In their desire to control you, remember there is an inherent need for you. Remember that somewhere they are intimidated by you, they feel insecure by your lively and vivacious nature. So they are trying to tone you down by judging you, by criticising you. And though it may seem ironical, they do need you.
I would advise my younger self not to get influenced by others but to listen to her gut in every situation. I would say to her, “Do what feels right because feelings never lie”.
I would tell her, “You are young today but use this time to lay the foundation for an evolved, enlightened you. Study hard, work hard, acquire as many skills as you can as they will hold you in good stead in times to come.”
I would further add, “Go and experiment with life, take chances, make mistakes because this is the only time that you can do that. You have time, age on your side. All your mistakes will teach you something.”
Most of all, I would tell her to learn to say No to people, to have the courage to do that. I would say, “There is no need to accommodate something or someone if it isn’t possible for you to do that. Say no and move on.”
I would also advise her to meet as many people as possible, get as much exposure as possible. And especially of the opposite sex because that would help her in her future relationships.
I would say, “Listen, girl, don’t shy away from doing things that you want to do. Be with people who let you be yourself. Spend time with them.
Follow your heart, do what you want to do and consult those who have your welfare at heart.”
I would say, “Spend time with your loved ones because you don’t know when they may just leave you and go forever.”
I would also warn her against trusting everyone and anyone.
At the same time, I would tell her to take things in her stride, especially things that seem unfair, unacceptable because they will all end up teaching something, some life lesson. It won’t go waste. And eventually, things will work out.
But most of all I would tell my younger self to go live life as you live only once!
First published here.
Top image via Pexels
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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