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Do you need to wear a particular type of clothes to be recognised as the bahu in a family? The author talks about her experience of living in such a family.
Do you need to wear a particular type of clothes to be recognised as the ‘bahu’ in a family? The author talks about her experience of living in such a family.
What women wear and how they wear it are the perennial concerns of people around them. Every one thinks that they have the right to have an opinion on women’s clothing. Most astonishingly, people from the same sex are often the fiercest critics of women.
As a girl from Assam, my parents never told me to dress in a particular way or manner. I was free to wear whatever I pleased. But things changed drastically after my marriage.
My in-laws had a totally different perception of a ‘bahu’ and they wanted me to dress and act accordingly. To my surprise the entire neighbourhood had the same perception about a daughter-in-law. And I used to see people whispering whenever they saw me in western wear or without a bindi.
I was never particularly obsessed with western wear, but the imposition made me rebellious. So I started wearing whatever they thought was inappropriate for a bahu. I used to love my golden overcoat with blue jeans. And throughout winter, I wore those without paying heed to the incessant comments my mom-in-law made.
After 5 years of marriage, my husband finally got a transfer and we shifted to another city. Here I was free to wear whatever I wanted. During the first few months I experimented with my looks just to feel free from the confines of my in-laws.
But slowly I got bored since that was not what I wanted. Gradually, I started concentrating more on my writing career, instead of finding ways to rebel against my mother-in-law and her squad. Finally, I found my peace of mind.
I have seen and heard of many women who undergo the same dictatorship after their marriages. But what makes me feel aghast about the entire situation is that it is a woman who puts these laws on another. She probably was a victim once but, why can’t she let it go?
Why can’t she stop herself from being the very same monster that haunted her?
Picture credits: Pexels
A free-spirited bohemian whose world revolves around books and blogging. read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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