5 Things You Must Know About Intimacy Before Getting Married


Half a decade ago marriage was a bargain between two famlies. Most of the women were married off to a man who was either well off or who could fend for his wife and family. Today the parameters of marriage have changed. Women no longer marry for the sake of economic security. Their expectations from marriage have changed in the course of years because of their changed status.

As women grew independent, their patterns of choosing partners have changed dramatically. Now women choose men who they feel can satiate their emotional as well as physical needs. Intimacy is no longer the physicality that happened between two people under the supervision of elders of the family for the sole purpose of procreation. Intimacy in today’s marriages involve understanding and fulfilling each other’s emotional as well as sexual needs.

So before you decide to hook up see if you know these five things about intimacy.

Intimacy doesn’t ‘grow with time’

People often say that after marriage you’ll know him/her. The idea that intimacy grows with time is a myth.

Make sure that you spend enough time to know the person with whom you’re going to spend the rest of your life. Know their likes, dislikes and the plans they have for the future. If their plans don’t go well with yours, it’s better not to proceed further. No use rowing the boat in different directions. You’ll reach nowhere. Even if the person is too relenting and is on his toes to come your way, beware. The person might be a dupe.

Intimacy is not just sexual

However attractive the other person might be, if you cannot connect to them emotionally the physicality won’t last long. Sex without love will wear out in the end. Always choose someone with whom you can connect and confide your deepest sorrows and joys. This person you choose must be your greatest friend in the long run. Someone who is capable of consoling you in your deepest trauma.

Intimacy doesn’t mean compromising your personal life

We have to be honest with our partners.

Let’s say, if you have chronic illness, you have to always confide in your partner and ask for their consent about whether it’s ok for them to go on with the relationship.

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Honesty is paramount in marriages. But you needn’t confess everything with your partner. Things like your past relationships or things that happened to your parents, family etc. You have to always keep your personal space to yourself. That’s a sacred space. Otherwise there are chances of people taking advantage of it.

Intimacy can be found outside marriage

You might be emotionally intimate with one of your parents, friends or siblings. You may not know it. There are people who are living together in marriage for years and have failed to connect with each other emotionally and physically.

There’s one more kind of intimacy

Other than the ones mentioned above, there’s another kind of intimacy that bestows equal peace and happiness. Intimacy with one’s child. Or with a child one has adopted, for that matter. The pure joy experienced in living with a child, breastfeeding a child and by becoming a child with it is unbeatable.

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