Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!
Shraddha Walker's inhuman murder has sent spasms of shock all over the country. The incident accentuates the doubt that surrounds the credibility of dating apps in forming meaningful relationships.
Shraddha Walker’s inhuman murder has sent spasms of shock all over the country. As usual, media channels have chosen to spice up the incident in different ways. While most of the reports highlight the religious background of the victim and the accused, a few choose to focus on the marital status of the victim.
Almost every news report details the brutal manner in which she was murdered. A few even mention that the duo had met through a dating app.
The incident accentuates the doubt that surrounds the credibility of dating apps in forming meaningful relationships.
When I went on to scroll through web pages of a few dating apps and based on my and a few of my friends’ experience on these dating sites, I began to wonder if these dating apps really help us in building egalitarian relationships.
A few of these dating sites declare that they empower women by offering her the choice to make the first move. Such sites offer men and women the freedom to choose their partners based on their preferences without the interference of the parents or nosy relatives.
A person choosing his/her partner makes the choice assuming that the details presented by the other person in the site is true. There are no dekho shows, barriers of age, race, religion, caste and gender norms like the man making the first move etc.
But even in such sites choices are made on the basis of educational background, economic background and job location. Money is the main motive of most of the people in these sites too.
The most intimidating aspect of finding a partner through dating sites is the credibility of the information provided. Because one don’t really know who the real person is on the other side while chatting. Even after one meets the person, he or she may modify their appearance and reality to suit the needs and preferences of the potential partner.
It might be a real trap, sans approval and support from the family. Both marriage and live in relationships become a private affair if parents, relatives and friends are not involved.
And families are kept in the dark about the whereabouts of such couples. Anything can happen within the relationships, like what happened with Shraddha Walker.
In a traditional matchmaking scenario however, one gets to see the real person. Nosy relatives aid the parents in probing the family background of the person involved. We get a fair picture of the other side, although it might not be a complete picture.
Match making as well as wedding is a public event, often a celebration, which binds the couple in the public eye too.
Most of the marriages survive for years, holding back the urge to slaughter each other, because of the fear of losing one’s reputation in the social life. Marriages that happen this way are considerably safer, less abusive because the family is involved.
Most of family members offer support, guidance and counsel when things go wrong between couples. So many of us have made choices, and found egalitarian relationships too through traditional matchmaking methods.
This doesn’t mean that marriages made with parental consent or traditional matchmaking methods are happily ever after kind. Murders happen in arranged marriages too. Regardless of the way the choice is made, every relationship needs some effort to blossom into a peaceful and friendly one long-term.
It’s great if we get to make certain choices and choose to live with someone according to our preferences. But if things go wrong and if the relationship turns abusive, one must first resort to resolving it through communication, counseling and such means.
If nothing works, it’s better to take the cue and walk out. We must teach young women that they can make mistakes in love and when a relationship that is of their choosing — takes worse turn, WALK OUT AT FIRST INSTANCE OF HARM!
Many women continue to stay in abusive relationship because the choice was made without parental permission— society conditioned them to feel that they have no right to come back home or seek help.
Shraddha Walker’s unfortunate incident is a loud message for the ones in conflicting relationships.
Image source: Edited on CanvaPro
A mother and a writer intrested in writing things that matter read more...
This post has published with none or minimal editorial intervention. Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
Please enter your email address