Check out the ultimate guide to 16 return-to-work programs in India for women
Shraddha Walker's inhuman murder has sent spasms of shock all over the country. The incident accentuates the doubt that surrounds the credibility of dating apps in forming meaningful relationships.
Shraddha Walker’s inhuman murder has sent spasms of shock all over the country. As usual, media channels have chosen to spice up the incident in different ways. While most of the reports highlight the religious background of the victim and the accused, a few choose to focus on the marital status of the victim.
Almost every news report details the brutal manner in which she was murdered. A few even mention that the duo had met through a dating app.
The incident accentuates the doubt that surrounds the credibility of dating apps in forming meaningful relationships.
When I went on to scroll through web pages of a few dating apps and based on my and a few of my friends’ experience on these dating sites, I began to wonder if these dating apps really help us in building egalitarian relationships.
A few of these dating sites declare that they empower women by offering her the choice to make the first move. Such sites offer men and women the freedom to choose their partners based on their preferences without the interference of the parents or nosy relatives.
A person choosing his/her partner makes the choice assuming that the details presented by the other person in the site is true. There are no dekho shows, barriers of age, race, religion, caste and gender norms like the man making the first move etc.
But even in such sites choices are made on the basis of educational background, economic background and job location. Money is the main motive of most of the people in these sites too.
The most intimidating aspect of finding a partner through dating sites is the credibility of the information provided. Because one don’t really know who the real person is on the other side while chatting. Even after one meets the person, he or she may modify their appearance and reality to suit the needs and preferences of the potential partner.
It might be a real trap, sans approval and support from the family. Both marriage and live in relationships become a private affair if parents, relatives and friends are not involved.
And families are kept in the dark about the whereabouts of such couples. Anything can happen within the relationships, like what happened with Shraddha Walker.
In a traditional matchmaking scenario however, one gets to see the real person. Nosy relatives aid the parents in probing the family background of the person involved. We get a fair picture of the other side, although it might not be a complete picture.
Match making as well as wedding is a public event, often a celebration, which binds the couple in the public eye too.
Most of the marriages survive for years, holding back the urge to slaughter each other, because of the fear of losing one’s reputation in the social life. Marriages that happen this way are considerably safer, less abusive because the family is involved.
Most of family members offer support, guidance and counsel when things go wrong between couples. So many of us have made choices, and found egalitarian relationships too through traditional matchmaking methods.
This doesn’t mean that marriages made with parental consent or traditional matchmaking methods are happily ever after kind. Murders happen in arranged marriages too. Regardless of the way the choice is made, every relationship needs some effort to blossom into a peaceful and friendly one long-term.
It’s great if we get to make certain choices and choose to live with someone according to our preferences. But if things go wrong and if the relationship turns abusive, one must first resort to resolving it through communication, counseling and such means.
If nothing works, it’s better to take the cue and walk out. We must teach young women that they can make mistakes in love and when a relationship that is of their choosing — takes worse turn, WALK OUT AT FIRST INSTANCE OF HARM!
Many women continue to stay in abusive relationship because the choice was made without parental permission— society conditioned them to feel that they have no right to come back home or seek help.
Shraddha Walker’s unfortunate incident is a loud message for the ones in conflicting relationships.
Image source: Edited on CanvaPro
A mother and a writer intrested in writing things that matter read more...
This post has published with none or minimal editorial intervention. Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
If her MIL had accepted her with some affection, wouldn't they have built a mutually happier relationship by now?
The incident took place ten years ago.
Smita could visit her mother only in summers when her daughter had school holidays. Her daughter also enjoyed meeting her Nani, and both of them had done their reservations for a week. A month before their visit, her husband told her, “My mom is coming for 4-5 months!”
Smita shuddered. She knew the repercussions. She would have to hear sarcastic comments from her mother-in-law for visiting her mother. She may make these comments directly only a bit, but her servants would be flooded with the words, “How horrible she is! She leaves me and goes!”
Are we so swayed by star power and the 'entertainment' quotient of cinema that satisfies our carnal instincts that we choose to ignore our own subconscious mind which always knows what is right and what is wrong?
Trigger Warning: This has graphic descriptions of violence and may be triggering to survivors and victims of violence.
Do you remember your first exposure to an extremely violent act or the aftermath of a violent act?
I am pretty sure for most of us it would be through cinema. But I remember very vividly my first exposure to aftermath of an unbelievably grotesque violent act in real life. It was as a student at a Dental College and Hospital.
Please enter your email address