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A mother's identity is linked with her caregiving roles even if employed, and travelling with colleagues is often considered "selfish". Why?!
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash
The world looks out at a mother as a caregiver and a nurturer, the one who sacrifices her wishes for her family.
All those qualities that necessarily relate to or are expressed as “loving and caring for the family” have been attached to motherhood. However, the moment a woman takes up decisions that are outside the domain of family goals, it becomes a nightmare for the family and in the neighbourhood as well.
It becomes difficult to believe that a woman being a mother can still have desires other than family ones. A mother’s identity is related to her “innate ability of sacrificing her wishes” for her children and the family. In the ethos of society, it is often held that mothers should prioritize their families over personal desires.
A Mother putting forth the idea of going on a trip with colleagues may face judgment from family, relatives, and neighbourhood. Her identity as an individual is juxtaposed with that of a ‘mothering’ one, which instills guilt in her for choosing her wishes over family time.
Mothers feel the pressure to live up to the cultural norms and standards created. Mothers are expected to not have a friend-circle, or more precisely a professional network. With regard to the gender role, It is considered more important for a mother to take some time to bond with extended family members and build sweet family relationships.
In such a scenario of expectations, for an Indian mother, planning to take out some time for a vacation with her co-workers is looked upon as being a “Westernized mother” or “self-centered” and “lacking family values”. On the contrary, fathers going on a business tour is celebrated.
In a patriarchal structure, the representation of motherhood is institutionalized in the sense that mothers are upholders of traditional values of the family. To keep her confined to domesticity, an archetypal figure of a mother is made to keep her indoors busy with cooking meals, caregiving, and family get-togethers. Working mothers have always been judged as being less committed to their families or too ambitious.
What does motherhood really have to do with workplace ambitions or relationships?!
However, deconstruction of such gender performativity is imperative to understand that motherhood has nothing to do with a woman’s sense of freedom to live a lifestyle based on her capacities as a mother of two children, as a wife and a daughter-in-law.
All the lovely moms, It is time to break the mould and rediscover your identity through holidaying with your co-workers. Going on a vacation with your work -buddies can be one of the best moments of your life. Traveling to places is empowering as it makes you smarter, and visionary, and most importantly sets you free-bird.
So mothers, ditch the indoors of your home, take up the challenge, and speak for yourself. Indulge yourself in adventurous activities at some of the world’s hidden travel destinations. Smash patriarchy, and break all the boundaries , for a mother too can be a hodophile and look after her kids and family at the same time
Travelling certainly allows mothers to engage in stimulating conversations. It is equally important to strengthen professional network circles just as much as family get-togethers. Navigating to places, and travelling with your workmates makes you a confident and bold personality, the one who has been to places and is not dependent on the husband for vacations.
Also, it is just as important for a mother to be a traveller, just like a father. Mothers too can be the source of inspiration for their children so that children can look up to their mother just like they look up to their fathers.
Motherhood has nothing to do with wanderlust. A love for travel makes you a more intelligent and self-sufficient mother who next time would plan a vacation with her children.
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If her MIL had accepted her with some affection, wouldn't they have built a mutually happier relationship by now?
The incident took place ten years ago.
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