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It is important to teach your child what’s right, what their responsibilities are, what they should be doing or not doing - but it is also important to know what they FEEL.
Photo by Mehdi Benkaci on Unsplash
What parents never do, despite doing everything…
Parents do everything for their children- everything that’s within their rights and limits. From teaching good values to ensuring the best quality education, from enhancing their overall persona to providing them with all facilities possible.
But, there’s a but… there’s this one thing they forget or miss doing. That is listening to their child’s feelings, trying to understand what they feel.
Children are sensitive and have emotional needs, in fact, every person big or small needs their emotional needs catered to in some or the other way.
We all feel the need to talk – Talk to someone about our feelings, we all seek that person in life who’d be willing or be interested in knowing what goes on within ourselves.
This is the reason parents are never able to connect with their children and vice versa. The need to have deep meaningful conversations with one’s children is what most parents neglect or don’t feel necessary. It is maybe because they never feel the need to, or they feel that they already know their kids well or maybe that their responsibility is limited to providing them with good education, timely meals, and decent clothes – and there’s no such thing as emotional needs.
This is also why children feel closer to friends or peers rather than their core family members as they’re able to share their feelings freely.
What is important to understand is that once this communication gap starts building, it keeps extending because it is easier to get your child to talk to you but the same is not the case with an adult.
Since that rapport between you and him/her was never established, it will be difficult for not just the child but also the parent to communicate with them.
It is indeed important to tell them about what’s right, what their responsibilities are, what they should be doing or not doing, saying or not saying – but it is also important to know WHAT THEY FEEL!
The feeling of not being heard, having to stifle your feelings, emotions and desires is extremely suffocating. And when the child is young, he is most attached to their parents and when he realises that he cannot reach out to the people who he’s closest to – he searches for people outside home.
This is what I want my children to never feel with me because my experiences have made me realise that the need for extra classes, the choice of food they want to eat, the kind of places they want to go will all be conveyed to me – but in order to know what’s in their mind, I’ll have to understand their heart!
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