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From pursuing an education to doing a job, a woman’s choice is hardly considered. Either she will be forced to do what her family thinks is best for her or will abide by higher education and career of their choice.
Adjustments seem to have been part and parcel of a woman’s life. It is typically the age-old belief— which, is indeed true that women are always expected in their entire lifetime to deal with and make adjustments.
Not only that.
If a woman tries to speak up and go against this behaviour of adjusting then she has to face a really hard time as people in society will start giving her labels, and questions will also raise upon her, eventually judging her in all aspects.
Also, every girl has a period of transition in her life that marks the end of her happy and innocent youth and the start of a series of changes that will last the rest of her life.
Even though it is strongly gendered, this shift is obtusely referred to as adulthood.
A lady is ripped from infancy and compelled into maturity during this shift. No matter if the girl is grown enough to put her buttons on correctly, the first period and a maturing body strike alarm bells as a society start heaping rules on her.
This causes a huge negative impact on a woman’s mental health, and she is always seen juggling multiple things at a time, making her fatigued.
A woman remains under constant pressure to be perfect in all situations and not utter any word, leading to depression as her feelings and emotions remain locked in a nutshell.
She learns from this point on that growing up as a girl entails changing your appearance, your voice tone, the way you sit and walk, putting care over your career, putting your children before yourself, and so forth.
Additionally, it’s frequently accompanied by two reasonable words: Please Adjust.
A woman can achieve great success and even an equal amount of success to her male counterpart if she is also given the same roadway to live life.
From pursuing an education to doing a job, a woman’s choice is hardly taken care of. Either she will be forced to do what her family thinks is best for her or will abide by higher education and career.
A woman is equally capable— to run a household by herself financially and not just take care of household chores.
With all adjustments lined up, a woman loses her self-confidence and ends up living a monotonous life where she seems to be living for others and not herself, vanishing her self-identity.
It’s time to spin the wheel and society should be more understanding and adjusting toward women. This world then only can be a better place for everyone if aspect like adjustment is not gender-bound but should be done on a mutual basis to create a healthy environment and relationships.
In the times of the new normal, it should be okay if there’s a house-husband taking care of the children and the household chores. It’s okay if your wife has to work till late hours in the office. It’s okay if your daughter wants to go abroad for higher studies. It’s okay if we start less expecting from women in society.
And most importantly, it’s perfectly all right if a woman puts forth her mental health first and adjustments later!
Let’s pledge to create a harmonious and women-friendly world where they also have a space to share their views, opinions, and choices and live in their own ways without adjusting all the time.
It’s an urge to the society we live in to be kind and gentle to all women out there.
Image source: Still from Sampurna, streaming on Hoichoi
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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