Why Does Society Prioritise Adjustment Over Kindness For Women?

From pursuing an education to doing a job, a woman’s choice is hardly considered. Either she will be forced to do what her family thinks is best for her or will abide by higher education and career of their choice.

Adjustments seem to have been part and parcel of a woman’s life. It is typically the age-old belief— which, is indeed true that women are always expected in their entire lifetime to deal with and make adjustments.

Not only that.

If a woman tries to speak up and go against this behaviour of adjusting then she has to face a really hard time as people in society will start giving her labels, and questions will also raise upon her, eventually judging her in all aspects.

The transition into adulthood for every girl is built on loss

Also, every girl has a period of transition in her life that marks the end of her happy and innocent youth and the start of a series of changes that will last the rest of her life.

Even though it is strongly gendered, this shift is obtusely referred to as adulthood.

A lady is ripped from infancy and compelled into maturity during this shift. No matter if the girl is grown enough to put her buttons on correctly, the first period and a maturing body strike alarm bells as a society start heaping rules on her.

This causes a huge negative impact on a woman’s mental health, and she is always seen juggling multiple things at a time, making her fatigued.

A woman remains under constant pressure to be perfect in all situations and not utter any word, leading to depression as her feelings and emotions remain locked in a nutshell.

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She learns from this point on that growing up as a girl entails changing your appearance, your voice tone, the way you sit and walk, putting care over your career, putting your children before yourself, and so forth.

It is the first step in teaching women how to live patriarchally

Additionally, it’s frequently accompanied by two reasonable words: Please Adjust. 

A woman can achieve great success and even an equal amount of success to her male counterpart if she is also given the same roadway to live life.

From pursuing an education to doing a job, a woman’s choice is hardly taken care of. Either she will be forced to do what her family thinks is best for her or will abide by higher education and career.

A woman is equally capable— to run a household by herself financially and not just take care of household chores.

With all adjustments lined up, a woman loses her self-confidence and ends up living a monotonous life where she seems to be living for others and not herself, vanishing her self-identity.


Adjustments shouldn’t be a core part of a woman’s life

It’s time to spin the wheel and society should be more understanding and adjusting toward women. This world then only can be a better place for everyone if aspect like adjustment is not gender-bound but should be done on a mutual basis to create a healthy environment and relationships.

In the times of the new normal, it should be okay if there’s a house-husband taking care of the children and the household chores. It’s okay if your wife has to work till late hours in the office. It’s okay if your daughter wants to go abroad for higher studies. It’s okay if we start less expecting from women in society.

And most importantly, it’s perfectly all right if a woman puts forth her mental health first and adjustments later!

Let’s pledge to create a harmonious and women-friendly world where they also have a space to share their views, opinions, and choices and live in their own ways without adjusting all the time.

It’s an urge to the society we live in to be kind and gentle to all women out there.

Image source: Still from Sampurna, streaming on Hoichoi

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