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While marriage is the union of two, often, only women have to make compromises and adjustments. Why are henna laden hands a sign of broken dreams and a restricted life?
Marriage is a union of two people who dream to spend their whole life with each other. In Sorrow and happiness, they promise to hold each other’s hands. Then why we expect a woman to adjust “or do ‘Compromises’ after marriage. A series of “adjustments” begin from here, when she takes her first step to the house of in-laws.
From then on, in-laws expect her to follow their family traditions and customs. Being a newly married, I can relate to this ball game more. A scene from the movie “Thappad” that we all married women can delineate. In this actress, Taapsee Pannu’s on-screen mom talking to her husband that women have to learn tolerance and make adjustments after marriage. She had dreamt to be a singer but had to compromise with her dream because her mother taught her that it is her primary responsibility to look out for her children and husband. Why are women taught to lose their identity after marriage on the name of ‘Compromises’? Why cannot women follow their passion after marriage? There are so many whys.
How do you feel when you get a call from your mother in law, just to make you understand how “Adjustments “are important in women’s life to make their marriage successful? I felt terrible and was numb for two minutes. How can we break such stereotypes when one woman wants another woman to do ‘Compromises’ as she did in her time? Is it fair to any woman?
I must say time is changing now, today’s women can be a mother as well as successful doctor, actress, entrepreneur, or anything else they want to be. Along with her profession, she is managing her family and home superlatively. But it will be super easy breezy for her to do this if we can take off the hovering cloud of adjustments from her mind. To make marriage life successful, both of them should give wings to each other’s dreams and should manage the house and children together.
Image credit- Vireshstudio on Pixabay
Vijeta Rana is an MDR-Tuberculosis survivor and HR Manager by profession. She had given a tough fight to multidrug-resistant - tuberculosis for almost 4 years and finally she won. After that, her perspective has read more...
This post has published with none or minimal editorial intervention. Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Being a writer, Nivedita Louis recognises the struggles of a first-time woman writer and helps many articulate their voice with development, content edits as a publisher.
“I usually write during night”, says author Nivedita Louis during our conversation. Chuckling she continues,” It’s easier then to focus solely on writing. Nivedita Louis is a writer, with varied interests and one of the founders of Her Stories, a feminist publishing house, based in Chennai.
In a candid conversation she shared her journey from small-town Tamil Nadu to becoming a history buff, an award-winning author and now a publisher.
Nivedita was born and raised in a small town in Tamil Nadu. It was for schooling that she first arrived in Chennai. Then known as Madras, she recalls being awed by the city. Her love-story with the city, its people and thus began which continues till date. She credits her perseverance and passion to make a difference to her days as a vocational student among the elite sections of Madras.
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