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Trans rights need a huge overhaul from the legal perspective, and while we wait for the constitutional rights to be truly inclusive, the change to becoming a more inclusive society begins with us.
As a trans woman, since I joined a new organization during COVID, all the interactions were virtual and the instances of misgendering were fewer. It still took a toll on my mental health.
When I joined the office in person, since I haven’t transitioned socially, I was misgendered in almost every interaction. When we went from voluntary to mandatory return to office, I had to make an uncomfortable choice of transitioning at the workplace in the hope of reducing the instances of misgendering. It did work to an extent in terms of misgendering, but led to a whole bunch of other problems like limiting or restricting my movement, social interactions, etc.
As someone who has this lived experience, here are a few concrete actions workplaces can take to avoid the trauma this causes trans persons.
Here are some tips for creating an inclusive culture through language.
Promote the use of pronouns of employees’ choice
Check with the employee what pronoun they prefer. Encourage the use of these pronouns in email signatures, meetings, display names, introductions, etc.
This creates a conversation and normalizes the use of pronouns. This can be followed up by training on the importance and usage of pronouns towards the inclusion of non-binary identities.
Promote the use of gender-neutral language
Discourage the use of clearly gendered words like “Guys” and slang like “Man”, “Bro”, “Dude” etc. in both formal and informal settings. Promote the use of words like “All”, “Everyone”, “Folks” etc.
As I said in the beginning, this sounds simple in theory but putting it into practice is difficult, because you must consciously ignore your conditioning. Hence it is important to explain the effects of misgendering and exclusion on mental health to promote this practice.
Also, there will be a lot of mistakes made when you start practicing the above. Be kind to yourself and others when such mistakes happen to allow yourself and others to grow.
I feel that managers are always the first point of contact for an employee. So, the manager must be mindful of their behaviour because that dictates the behaviour of other team members. If a manager starts using gender neutral language, introduces themselves with their pronouns, the team also mimics some of these behavioural aspects.
In my case, when the misgendering started taking a toll on me, I reached out to my manager and they helped me with new perspectives and why it was rather more essential for me to be in office at least once or twice a week. Your immediate colleagues and manager need to be there to support you.
When I started transitioning at work, I was fortunate to have some good co-workers who accompanied me to public areas and helped me work through the discomfort. This discomfort comes from the stares, the awkward silences when I enter public spaces. Eventually I did start going to office alone and going to some of the public spaces within the office by myself but I still prefer going with someone or a group to feel a bit safer. However, the allies that walk with me always have to walk through this discomfort.
Becoming more inclusive in terms of language sounds simple in theory but is equally tough in real life. We are conditioned to think about everything in binary terms and there is an additional emphasis on gender in Indian languages, especially in an informal tone. To make it further difficult, we depend a lot on visual cues which leads to a lot of auto-trigger responses.
Image source: the author
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
It is shameful that in today's world too, women are abused and even killed for giving birth to a girl, and the infant's life is also of no value.
Trigger Warning: This deals with domestic violence, suicide, and violence against women, and may be triggering to survivors.
I am so glad that the esteemed courts are now giving the much-required verdicts regarding certain ideologies that were not at all entertained earlier. I mean we all have studied this much biology at our school level and it is our duty (our generation) to educate our elders about it.
Why someone have to lose a life to bring such awareness to the society. Delhi High Court gave this judgement concerning a case that filed by the deceased daughter’s parents against her in-laws. She committed suicide as she was harassed and tortured for dowry and giving birth to two daughters.
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