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Desires are something we all possess irrespective of age but society dictates what desires one should have as per their age.
Desires are something we all possess irrespective of age but society dictates what desires one should have as per their age. This leads to the suppression of one’s libido. We live in the pretence of sublimating or redirecting all our desires into productive work but that doesn’t help us to get rid of them. It lurks deep down in the corners of our minds and hearts making us yearn more for the unreachable. It’s the fear of being socially rejected by society and “log kya kehenge” that makes us curb all our desires.
Dilbar, the protagonist of the episode, “My Beautiful Wrinkles” from Modern Love: Mumbai exactly went through this same phase but realized in the end that she has one life and she should live it to the fullest without having any regrets.
Dating When You Are A Widow
Being a widow even though Dilbar and her group of friends were quite modern in the way they carried themselves yet Dilbar didn’t fail to laugh or deride their friend Seema who was dating someone who fulfilled her romantic desires by labelling her activities like that of a mushy lovesick teenager. However, ironically, they all craved the same love from their partners which was evident in their conversations except Dilbar who atoned herself for the guilt of her husband Iqbal’s death by accident.
Kunal on the other hand was a passer-by with whom Dilbar exchanged conversations every day from her balcony while he went for his usual run in the morning across the marine drive. Dilbar used to train Kunal for job interviews afterwards over cups of coffee and Kunal was a cover to the unrefillable voids embedded in the deepest corners of Dilbar’s heart.
Even though both of them had a huge age difference there was a kind of intimacy between them. While for Kunal, Dilbar was like a friend, philosopher and guide, For Dilbar Kunal was her refuge apart from her books and conversing with him gave her a sense of contentment.
Nonetheless the day Kunal expressed the sexual fantasies he had for Dilbar with the help of a sketch he made keeping Dilbar in his mind, Dilbar tried to shun him away rebuking him that he should love someone of his age. However, this incident kind of culminated in their repressed sexual fantasies of Dilbar which she tried to get rid of by channelising her thoughts and emotions into reading books as she claimed herself to be a voracious reader but unfortunately, she couldn’t.
She was scared of being ostracized by society and her group of friends since Kunal was way younger than her yet when she divulged this incident in front of her friends, they were quite supportive appreciating Kunal for his confession. When Dilbar said that she felt guilty and considered herself responsible for such fantasies of Kunal they gave her examples of the French President whose wife is 30 years older than him once again establishing the fact that, “There’s no right age for love or romance”.
At the end, when Dilbar and Kunal met once again, we witness Dilbar confessing in front of Kunal that she also fantasized about him after his confession and both of them agreed to keep their relationship confined to occasional coffee and sexual fantasies. The honesty of this whole conversation is a reality check for all those people who conceal their emotions in the fear of getting judged or rejected by their social milieu when it’s their own life and they should live it on their terms.
Guilt
Dilbar always carried the guilt that she was responsible for her husband’s death as she was driving the car when the accident happened and it’s this guilt for which she subdued all her desires because she somehow felt as if she fell in love with someone else it would be an injustice to the love Iqbal had for her but Kunal after listening to her story assured her it wasn’t her fault and she should remove the dilapidated car, a souvenir of that horrific accident that stood in front of her house so that she can live her life-redeeming herself from the guilt of her past. On the other hand, Dilbar too advised Kunal to live his life and they both part.
While Dilbar removed the car along with the belongings of her husband Iqbal and finally decided to attend her college reunion which she wasn’t willing to attend initially, Kunal triumphed over his failures, tore off the letters of rejection he got from the companies he interviewed for and decided to chase his dreams of becoming a graphic designer going against his parent’s wishes who wanted him to do a 9-5 job.
“My Beautiful Wrinkles” not only depicted the journey of Dilbar who embraced herself and her beautiful wrinkles but also Kunal who discovered what he wanted from life. The film emphasized the fact that desires have no age, it’s natural to have libido or desires but what matters is living life to the fullest without any regrets, having the willpower to voice out and fulfil all the desires we have in our hearts as we are all blessed with one life and we should make the most out of it in due time.
Image Credits: A still from the Episode.
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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