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Because apparently the color of my skin just wasn't acceptable, and if I wanted to find a good husband in the future and be successful, I needed to take care of my skin and become fair.
Just like many South Indian girls, one of the ‘compliment’ I heard the most growing up was, “you’re brown, but so pretty.”
I never knew how to reply to that, so I just awkwardly smiled and nodded before changing the topic. Now I’m an adult in my mid twenties, and I still see people saying it to me and many young girls. And let me tell you, your so-called compliment is not making them happy.
It’s a known fact that Indian aunties love to give advice to kids, teens and basically everyone younger than them.
So, growing up I had my fair share of people telling me not to play in the sun, in the sand, to apply curd, or tomato or sandal… Because apparently the color of my skin just wasn’t acceptable, and if I wanted to find a good husband in the future and be successful, I needed to take care of my skin and become fair.
Now this may seem such a simple thing to most people, they’re just giving you advice to become prettier… Right? But by telling this you’re telling the girls, they’re not enough, that they’re not beautiful to begin with, and the color of their skin is something to be changed.
For years, I wasn’t happy with my own skin, my own body, and everything about me. I never felt beautiful or confident. I starved myself so I’d lose weight, and I kept changing soaps so I’d become fair, which affected me both physically and mentally.
As I grew older, I learned to understand and appreciate my body. I put it through a lot, but it still allowed me to do everything I need. It was hard, but I slowly started loving my body and all its imperfections. And the confidence and strength I gained from it, changed my life.
And now I use that strength to help both girls and boys who are underappreciated, who were the last ones to be picked, who were bullied for the way they looked… I am sorry the society has been cruel to you. Just remember you’re perfect the way you are. Be kind to your body and to that of others.
And to the people who judge, you’re not doing them a favour by advising them to change things they cannot change. If you can say, “You’re pretty,” to a fair skinned girl/boy, then you can most certainly say the same to a brown person without making comments on their skin tone.
Image source: shutterstock
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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