Let’s Talk About The Big 40!

Let’s leave the birthdays that I was too young to remember and have only pictures to know them by.

For the ones I can recall, my family usually has had to walk on eggshells around me on my birthday because I’m the crankiest monster alive on earth.

My reasons for being the crankiest monster

Firstly, I am obsessed with remembering to wish relatives on their birthdays and anniversaries. However, most of them forget to wish me.

We as a family don’t believe in wasting money with wrapped exotic gifts for each other. The masked sadistic and twisted love that links us all when we are rude and rough with each other as is the norm in a typical Mallu household?

That is what matters. The grand gestures the world feeds on today with surprises and love showering on you make us nauseous. Nope, we don’t roll that way!

I feel awkward when I receive gifts. I am burdened by the moral responsibility of giving back in kind when I don’t ‘believe’ in gifts as a family motto.

Secondly, I am forced to think of the gifter every time I’m looking at it. Finally, when that gift loses its charm and I have to finally dispose of it, my heart cries the chronic hoarder that I am.

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All Mallu armours fail, and their hearts are put on their sleeves mostly only when they feel tipsy. The story of that I am a ‘lucky’ child so usually is a yearly tradition when my dad has two or three drinks.

Siblings and birthdays

Apparently, after my birth is when my parents were able to save and make some money in the Gulf in the 80s which is the typical NRI struggle story.

It is exciting to hear, and I sneer inwardly at my siblings who have their brand of the ‘being special’ story.

My mum, for example, was gifted a Rolex for giving birth to my brother, who is fifteen months younger than me. Weren’t they eager? My elder sister had all the limelight for five bloody years!

Now this ‘lucky’ business has sometimes translated into important stuff happening that leaves me stuck at home with kids while my family is off on my birthday to exotic locations away from home. ON MY BIRTHDAY! ( I’m a drama queen? NO!!! I’m not talking to you ever!)

So, this year- I’m looking forward to a depressing 40th where I don’t get ANY gifts or wishes until like late in the afternoon.

It would happen after I deliberately drop clues or wish myself in the family groups from my husband’s social media accounts (a big eye roll from everyone who knows it’s me anyway).

However, this year- something changed

My kids and husband wake me up at midnight. (I’m pretending to sleep since I’m grouchy.) They wish me and give me wrapped gifts. ( My heart is thumping, I don’t do gifts) I get midnight birthday video calls and mentions in a few status updates.

Someone thankfully remembers to wish me on the family groups, which leads to a cascade of HBD variations. (If you are reading this, you know who you are!)

My parents are not off galavanting doing what they do and are at home for once. My kids clean up the house of their own accord. (It’s weird. Parents, you feel me?)

I get my surprise birthday party during an effing pandemic! This follows with two awesome cakes- which blew our minds, cheese & cherry with a flower bouquet, yum chicken biriyani and lovely other gifts which have blown my mind further.

Thus, this year on my fortieth birthday, I’m grateful for all the love and time everyone invested in making me feel special. I feel ‘lucky’. Thank you for the wonderful day. Ellam adipoli !! Appo Ellam paranjapole! Ok right?

Image credits: Lawe Filips on Pexels

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