If you are a professional in an emerging industry, like gaming, data science, cloud computing, digital marketing etc., that has promising career opportunities, this is your chance to be featured in #CareerKiPaathshaala. Fill up this form today!
Steeped in deep conditioning many women sacrifice their dreams & self-care. This leads to physical & mental exhaustion, regret of dashed dreams & loss of her unique identity.
As care-givers, many women slip into acts that sustain and provide for her family, friends, and colleagues at work. When her husband burns the midnight oil preparing for a critical presentation, the cup of hot chocolate arrives without asking.
She drops her work to patiently listen to the unending woes of a colleague struggling with a micromanaging boss. Locating the missing sock in a pile of clothes, fixing a loose button on the shirt, ensuring the maids maintain an orderly kitchen, be the first to compromise when there are conflicting demands- she is the glue that keeps the family together.
At work, she is quick to detect a change in tone of voice as an indication of hurt or joy. She’s adept at building consensus among her team when perspectives differ widely.
Even though these acts of service consume her time, energy, and mind space they are not something that can be showcased or measured in any way. A young mother complained, “My day is busy, and I get tired by the end of it. But then I wonder if I’ve really achieved anything?” These are invaluable acts that stitch together the fabric of harmony, stability, and order in a unit.
Steeped in deep conditioning that others are more important than her, sacrifice at the cost of self-care becomes her driving force. While there is no denying that many women revel in being the psychological anchor for family and teams; there are costs to it as well. In the fulfilment of her worldly duties, nourishment for her inner-self runs dry.
Over a period, there is physical and mental exhaustion, the regret of dashed dreams and the loss of her unique identity.
To further exacerbate her predicament, is the fact that she rarely gets acknowledged or appreciated by others. In a world where the patriarchal mindset is still pervasive, these qualities are a tacit expectation of a woman. Not one to blow her trumpet, she expectantly awaits a gesture of gratitude and encouragement. Even the slightest note rewards her amply as she finds renewed energy to keep going. However, for many women, these gestures are few and far between.
A woman’s power lies in finding the balance between holding her core and caring for others around her. A few self-protection and self-preservation steps that she needs to adopt to sustain her vitality:
For far too long, women have stayed in the background as compassionate care-givers but silent sufferers.
It’s time to step out, take centre-stage, to nourish her soul and celebrate her uniqueness!
Image source: Still from Ki and Ka
Aparna is a leadership coach and facilitator with over 25 years of cross-functional work experience. She brings with her diverse experience of sales, consulting and facilitation of personal transformation. She has worked with organizations read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
Shows like Indian Matchmaking only further the argument that women must adhere to social norms without being allowed to follow their hearts.
When Netflix announced that Indian Matchmaking (2020-present) would be renewed for a second season, many of us hoped for the makers of the show to take all the criticism they faced seriously. That is definitely not the case because the show still continues to celebrate regressive patriarchal values.
Here are a few of the gendered notions that the show propagates.
A mediocre man can give himself a 9.5/10 and call himself ‘the world’s most eligible bachelor’, but an independent and successful woman must be happy with receiving just 60-70% of what she feels she deserves.
Darlings makes some excellent points about domestic violence . For such a movie to not follow through with a resolution that won't be problematic, is disappointing.
I watched Darlings last weekend, staying on top of its release on Netflix. It was a long-awaited respite from the recent flicks. I wanted badly to jump into its praise and will praise it, for something has to be said for the powerhouse performances it is packed with. But I will not be able to in a way that I really had wanted to.
I wanted to say that this is a must-watch on domestic violence that I stand behind and a needed and nuanced social portrayal. But unfortunately, I can’t. For I found Darlings to be deeply problematic when it comes to the portrayal of domestic violence and how that should be dealt with.
Before we rush to the ‘you must be having a problem because a man was hit’ or ‘much worse happens to women’ conclusions, that is not what my issue is. I have seen the praises and criticisms, and the criticisms of criticisms. I know, from having had close associations with non-profits and activists who fight domestic violence not just in India but globally, that much worse happens to women. I have written a book with case studies and statistics on that. Neither do I have any moral qualms around violence getting tackled with violence (that will be another post some day).