Over the years, your support has made Women’s Web the leading resource for women in India. Now, it is our turn to ask, how can we make this even more useful for you? Please take our short 5 minute questionnaire – your feedback is important to us!
“Isn’t it enough that we are all looking after her? We are doing all her chores. Can you imagine that the men of the household are doing her seva? She is blessed to have us, Didi.”
Almost a week….and Sushanto Da hadn’t delivered water jars. Nor was he answering the phone. Scrolling down the contact list, I found another number of his and promptly placed a call.
After a few rings, a voice answered.
“Sushanto Da?”
“My father is not at home.” The call gets disconnected.
An hour later Sushanto Da calls back. He speaks in hushed tones.
“Can’t hear you, Dada. Can you be louder?”
“Didi, I can’t deliver water. You see Corona has entered my home.”
“Who has it?”
He refuses to tell me. After much pestering, he confides. “My wife. She has it.”
“Did all of you test?”
“Yes, we did. Everyone else is negative.”
“How is she doing?”
“Not good. She is having fits. Her jaw gets locked. And she starts shaking badly. I have to put a spoon between her teeth. And… and…she is having difficulty in breathing.”
“What? Have you shown her a doctor?”
“Yes. Yes. You know Dr. Mollick? He has given medicines.”
“But he is a quack. Take her to the hospital, Dada.”
“Na na Didi. I can’t. Everyone will come to know.”
“How does it matter?”
“I can’t take the risk. People will treat us as an outcast. We will also lose our income.”
“But that’s momentary. Your wife’s life is precious.”
“I think she will live. Don’t worry.”
“She needs a good doctor. And a hospital. I can help you with the bed and money.”
“Didi, we have been married for many years now. My sons are all grown-up now. Both are adults. I….I can’t spend much on her now.”
That is where it boils down. A wife past her prime. Grown-up sons who no longer need a mother to bring them up. A husband who doesn’t need a wife to run the home anymore. A husband who finds the wife a burden. Maybe get the son married and bring another woman to run the show.
Sushanto Da also tells me that his children are his future. And no way can he compromise it. The wife falls into the category of the unwanted.
I kept insisting that the woman should at least get a chance to live.
“Isn’t it enough that we are all looking after her? One of us is always home to look after her. We are doing all her chores. Can you imagine that the men of the household are doing her seva? She is blessed to have us, Didi.”
Thankfully, a call today assured me that the woman is doing better.
COVID has once again exposed the harsh realities of life. And it’s across all strata.
A friend and her family are afflicted with the virus. Their condition worsened soon. Two beds in two different hospitals were found. The woman chose the lesser known hospital while the husband got admitted in a reputed, multi-specialty hospital.
She told me later on, “He needs better care. I was ready to give up mine for him. At least he will get to live for the kids. My absence won’t be missed much.”
This made me think. It has always been expected that women will compromise and then sacrifice their good for the sake of her family. Even during illness, the mandate remains the same. Also the status of being the inferior sex is something that has come down for ages and continues to be glorified by the woman herself.
“My absence won’t be missed.” That itself speaks volumes about our position in the society. If I haven’t been able to create an identity for myself, then I am a failure. Isn’t it time that we took stock of our status and then take it to better heights?
The constant urge to make ourselves feel as a lesser human being in comparison to our male counterparts and accepting compromises or the urge to sacrifice should be driven out of our system.
Raise your status, dear women. You are in no way inferior. Build an identity for yourself. You cannot be someone’s wife, someone’s daughter or mother. Create your worth. And do not underestimate it ever.
Image source: a still from the film Ramprasad ki Tehravi
Sreemati Sen, a Masters in Social Work (MSW) From Visva Bharati, Shantiniketan. She is a Development Professional, specialised in Psychiatric care of Differently Abled Children. That hasn’t stopped her from exploring other fields. Years read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
He said that he needed sometime to himself. I waited for him as any other woman would have done, and I gave him his space, I didn't want to be the clingy one.
Trigger Warning: This deals with mental trauma and depression, and may be triggering for survivors.
I am someone who believes in honesty and trust, I trust people easily and I think most of the times this habit of mine turns into bane.
This is a story of how a matrimonial website service turned into a nightmare for me, already traumatized by the two relationships I’ve had. It’s a story for every woman who lives her life on the principles of honesty and trust.
This can have a drastic effect on other victims of domestic violence. It will also encourage the abuser that they can now threaten their victim that he/she may end up like Amber Heard on the internet.
The lives of actors, be they from Hollywood or Bollywood, trouble my peace. Though they are worshipped by their fans, the real-life of many is quite troubled. It is scary to see what money and fame can do to a person. These are the people who have made me realize that fame and money are not that important.
I usually try to avoid reading about actors and their lives but there is no escape when the internet gets flooded with news and you come across it again and again as it happened with Aryan Khan’s arrest, Will Smith slapping Chris Rock, or now Amber Heard v/s Johnny Depp case.
We clearly see the pattern of uncivilized society in the above-mentioned cases where the mass verdict is passed even before the jury or judge passes the sentence. Usually, there is no middle ground for these people who are just there to make a topic trending on the internet. One is black and the other is white, there are no shades of grey for these modern-day witch hunters.