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Porn trends in India, especially among men, swing from pathetic to horrifying, and a common factor is a lack of consent. What does this say about Indian men?
A few years ago when a little girl was brutally raped and killed in Kashmir, the country and the world was rightly outraged. But the sick part was when people started searching for any available video of the act.
This sick mentality and sadistic tendency point to a deeper level of sexism and lack of respect for women’s dignity in the country.
A few months ago a few of my friends were discussing about consent, sex and marriage. There have been discussions on making marital rape a crime. Male friends often tell me how ‘forced sex’ and other such porn videos are trending. Though I don’t really know if such videos contribute to rise in crime against women or not, it does show how much a certain section of people who see these videos enjoy them.
A few days back when I looked at such videos to just check what the fuss is all about, my blood boiled. I just could not watch them, or imagine anyone enjoying videos of women being forced to have sex.
Most of these videos have a common thing where teenaged girls are kidnapped and forced to have sex or a husband forcing himself on the wife. These videos were so gut wrenching that even glimpses of one was enough to spoil one’s mood for a few days.
I know these are usually carefully written storylines with adult actors who are paid, and they do it out of consent. However, it shows the darkest nature of men in general who can even pay to watch such videos and acts. All those who watch this may not go and rape someone or sexually assault a woman but it shows a deeper hatred towards women and her ability to make a choice.
A male friend had once remarked that such porn videos give many young men a very wrong idea of sex and consent. Without any knowledge on sex, relationship and consent, these young men develop skewed ideas about sex.
As discussions around sex is a taboo, they think these videos are a reality. Many of them who marry or enter into relationships often expect their partner to ‘be a certain way’ and perform certain acts. They do things on the bed that their female partners may not consent to, but men think they are right in expecting it. Why? Because it happened on the porn videos on ‘forced’ and ‘dominating in bed’.
This dangerous trend is indeed worrying and the videos when viewed is disturbing enough, but once you are addicted, not only do you change as a man but so do your twisted expectations in bed.
The best way to check this is not by banning these videos, as it is impossible, and is an adult choice. What we can do is make sex education mandatory for our children in school, and talk to them at home too.
By telling them what is good sex is versus bad. How marriage and sexual relationships are beautiful when partners consent to any sexual activity, and there is an open communication between both, regarding each others’ expectations.
As for now, my women friends and I are still recovering from the shock of coming across the violent porn videos we clicked on when searching for what our male friends told us. We’re also disturbed about the possible effects on the psyche of young and teenaged males who watch them.
We, as a society, should be extremely concerned about this, and open a dialogue regarding ethical sexual behaviour for men, women and any other genders in between. Watching porn may not be bad, but these disturbing porn trends in India should deeply concern us as it affects many women inside the four walls of their homes.
Image source: a still from the film Baadshaho
I got a masters in sociology and now...trying my hands at journalism. Trainee Content Editor, New Indian Express. read more...
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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