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Parents who toil away to ensure that the wedding goes off without a glitch, are shamed indirectly for bringing a girl into this world – who cares for their state of minds?
I am a sucker for wedding and reception parties. I wait for the evening when I drape that elegant saree. A dash of make-up, and a couple of accessories – I am ready to rock the event. The mandatory photo session with the couple done, my eyes dart towards the buffet counter.
Yeah, come on, admit it. Don’t we go there for the food? One just have to note how most Indians heap rice and gravy on their plates… Anyway, I digress.
I relish whatever I eat, ignoring aberrations like too much masala in paneer tikka, or the fact that the bride’s father forgot to ask me how the dish was. Come on, the poor man is flustered enough. Then comes the realisation – my husband and I belong to the ‘rare’ category of relatives who are happy with just about anything on the menu. Unlike those uncles and aunties who demand a place at the top of the family pyramid.
Haven’t we seen them? They are the ones for whom a day starts with a fresh tumbler of filter coffee.
Well, nothing wrong in that. But these so-called special people demand that perfect decoction even in a wedding. God forbid if they are not served that. The verdict is out. The bride’s parents are poor organizers.
Yes. Parents who toil away to ensure that the wedding goes off without a glitch, are shamed indirectly for bringing a girl into this world – who cares for their state of minds? The fact that they didn’t arrange for coffee is enough for them to be judged. And the least said about the lunch, the better! There is too much of salt in the raita. Sambhar needed more tamarind. Kheer was not sweet enough. Or – it contained too much sugar to induce diabetes in a healthy person.
Doesn’t this attitude get your goat? Who gave these uncles and aunties the right to run down their own family member just because an item was not to their liking? Why don’t they stay at home and enjoy their homemade food?
But no. They have to attend the function. How else will they flaunt their magnanimous nature? That they are one family. Just sit near them and hear them gossiping – don’t be surprised if they slut shame the bride herself. Oh, did I miss the instructions? That a girl is supposed to behave in a certain way (read coquettish).
Precisely for these reasons, I believe, that a registered marriage would do just fine. Yes, I would miss out on delicious food. But I am fine with it. So long it prevents a family from getting insulted, I would be only too happy to let go of endless cups of ice creams and multiple visits to the paan stall.
I have limited myself to South Indian weddings in this piece; I am sure the experience will be similar in other regions too. Alcohol not sufficient. The quality of fish was not good. The list is inexhaustible. Am I right?
Image source: a still from the film 2 States
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