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Female orgasms are a mystery to many (including women) but they definitely do not need to be. Here are 7 myths we’ve demystified for you!
From assumptions that “women don’t really need sex” to beliefs that “women shouldn’t care so much about pleasure” – there are a host of myths when it comes to women and their sexuality.
And as for female orgasms, what’s that, say many…
In this piece, I try and bust many of these myths about female orgasms. If many women find them elusive, chances are it’s because we have all been conditioned to consider women’s sexual pleasure as immaterial.
This piece is part of a series called #PleasureMatters. Stay tuned for more such posts on women’s sexual pleasure.
Pic credit: https://twitter.com/reactionvideos_/status/1114546051661406209
False!
In fact, the clitoris is the only organ (across male and female human bodies) that solely exists for sexual pleasure.
However, according to a popular Durex ad, 70% of Indian women do not orgasm during intercourse. Well, many women never never experiencing one does not mean a woman is biologically incapable of orgasms.
Pic credit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pG5gFcBqj7I
Nope!
Using vibrators won’t ‘desensitise’ your vagina to pleasure although what can happen is that other forms of stimulation may pale in comparison.
Speaking of the clitoris, we only see a bit of the clitoris – the little button. The entire structure (about 10 cms) is hidden underneath.
Kinda not true !
While women can orgasm through a myriad of ways, penetrative sex is usually not enough for most women to orgasm. Some form of clitoral stimulation, especially during foreplay, really helps. Talk to your partner to communicate your own desires and needs.
Pic credit: https://twitter.com/jackieaina/status/1120778000952225792?s=20
Totally, completely and utterly FALSE.
Condoms not only help in preventing the spread of diseases, and reduce worries about unwanted pregnancy, but can also make sex more pleasurable, with added features like lube or ribbing.
We suggest using condoms even when sharing sex toys!
Not true!
Sex is not just for one person (and not just between a man and a woman). A good sexual experience means everyone gets their pleasure (whatever that may mean for the individual). Partners should definitely communicate with each other about what they want.
Definitely a myth!
Research has found that women have the g-spot, but may respond to stimulation differently; like with most sexual experiences, it needs to be discovered and learnt.
SO NOT TRUE!
In many societies, it is considered that women need to have sex only to get pregnant. Pleasurable sex is only for men apparently. However, women have desires and do have sex for the pleasure it can bring.
Unfortunately, such myths and the dominance of men in the world of sex means women often never experience orgasms or even fake them for the satisfaction of their partner.
Further, our societies are steeped with heteronormative ideas about sex when, in fact, sex is diverse, complex and preferences vary. Everyone deserves to experience pleasure – the time has come for women to own their sexuality.
Top image is from the Hindi movie Lust Stories
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Before expecting the daughter in law to love, respect and accept the new family, it is only fair that the family demonstrates all of these first.
If you are a married Indian woman, one of the first words you hear from your in laws is that you are now a daughter of the house. How true is that statement though? Are daughters in law really treated as daughters or is this only lip service?
A friend recently confided how hurt she felt when she wanted to visit her in-laws along with her husband but was told not to, because the in-laws wanted time alone with their son. Naturally, she was taken aback since she had always been fed this trope – that she was the daughter, not the daughter in law. Why then this sudden keeping at arm’s distance? Would a son in law ever be told not to accompany his wife on her visit to her parents because they wanted quality time with their daughter? That is unimaginable in a patriarchal society.
It is ok to want time alone with the married offspring but how does that meld into the Indian family system, where independent choices are less important than the whole family coming together?
Beauty is a very clever, very evil capitalist tool. It traps those who have it into hanging on to it for dear life and those who don't into mutilating, torturing themselves to achieve the unachievable.
I recently wrote a piece about MP Shashi Tharoor’s tweet in which he had shared a pic with six women parliamentarians tagging them and saying “Who says the Lok Sabha isn’t an attractive place to work?”
There was a rash of comments on the post shared on Instagram, which ranged from “chill, it’s just a compliment” and “stop overthinking compliments”, to (worried) men lamenting about “these feminazi”.
Here’s my answer to all those comments.
Here's all you need to know about masturbation and owning the pleasure all women deserve from their bodies. It can set you free!
Here’s all you need to know about masturbation and owning the pleasure all women deserve from their bodies. It can set you free!
M for… Marriage. We never hear the end of it.
M for… Menstruation. Thankfully, Twinkle Khanna has made it a trending topic.
On 8th August, International Female Orgasm Day, let's understand that “every woman must shiver out of pleasure” as shown in commercial ads!
On 8th August, International Female Orgasm Day, let’s understand that “every woman must shiver out of pleasure” as shown in commercial ads!
I read in an article that two out of every three Indian women have never experienced an orgasm. Why does this “pleasure gap” exist? It begins when we restrict female sexuality and make the word ‘sex’ a taboo. Society attaches value to virginity and sometimes brides are made to spend their first night on a white sheet for ‘proof’. After marriage, they are expected to have sex only for having children.
I often wonder, how many women out there are Nimisha Sajayan from The Great Indian Kitchen wanti ng to be Megha (Kiara Advani) in Lust Stories?