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Why are a woman’s sexual desires or needs be spoken of in hushed tones? Why can’t a woman openly say that her physical needs have to be gratified?
Generally a woman is looked upon with judgement when she demands to be gratified by her man; often she has to sound apologetic because she wanted it.
Why does this happen? Why are we still grappling with the belief that these desires are still a man’s domain? It is time that we women too voice our bodily needs, and also when we do not want it!
Talking about sex, and its pains and pleasures is forbidden for a woman, or is expected to be spoken of only within the confines of the bedroom. It is the privilege of her man but she is denied, often overlooking the times that she is forced against her wishes. She cannot even voice out her pleasures of loving her own body else she falls prey to judgements.
Women and their sexuality has been a topic that has been discussed, written about or shared. But what needs to be pondered upon is the angst she undergoes when she is denied the rights to even discuss it.
A woman mostly suppresses these feelings lest she be judged. Sometimes even by another member of her own tribe.
At times there are people who term you mentally ill when you ask for sex, and again, there are the ones who label you fundamentally dysfunctional when you do not ask for it. Often a woman finds herself struggling between this dichotomy.
It is time that we stop living under a rock and instead come out and speak about our sexual needs and desires. We should not fear discussing our deep seated fantasies. Just like any other topic, sex is a normal thing to talk about, this belief needs to be given to our women.
If sexuality is one of the primary dimensions of a woman’s ability to live passionately and a complete life, then in annihilating our sexual feelings we are reducing our overall power to feel, know, or value ourselves deeply.
A version of this was first published here.
Image source: a still from the movie Raazi
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A dire penchant for words, can summarize my life as “My pen bleeds my life”!
That’s very unfortunate. I know a friend being asked by her husband “why are you behaving like a prostitute ” when she tried to approach him for sex.
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