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As 3 sisters, we are facing pressure from relatives to ‘get married’ soon after our father passing away, to ‘ease our mother’s load’. Why not focus on our education and careers?
A few months ago, my father’s sudden demise left all of us in shock. It created a huge void in our lives.
It was difficult seeing my mother in so much pain, it felt as if our life has been devastated. I had started thinking of my future already, since my life was going to change drastically. All I cared for was to help my mother to get back to her life, to focus on my career, and to support my younger siblings.
Since my father was the bread-earner of the family, in my mind the responsibility of the family now lay in the hands of my elder sister, and I wanted to help her in doing that.
But I remember that right after my father’s funeral, people were asking my Mumma, why she didn’t get my elder sister married soon. That my father would have “seen at least his elder daughter’s marriage.” I remember, there were so many people bringing marriage proposals to help my mother “ease her load of getting her three daughters married.”
I have always wondered, why these people never thought about our careers and education instead? Why didn’t these people worry about helping us to pursue our education? It hurt me that every single person wanted to get us married.
Is marriage the ultimate aim of a women’s life? Is it the only goal your daughters are brought up with?
Why should a woman always agonize about getting married to ease their parents’ load?
Why should a woman worry about giving up her career for making a family?
Why should a woman be responsible only for her in-laws?
Why should a woman put her children, husband, parents, family, whosoever before herself?
This is to the society out there, full of misogynists. Let women be what they want to and not force them into anything else. They are the owners of their own lives, no one else is.
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