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Almost every woman has faced some kind of sexual harassment or abuse in her life. Doesn't that make #NotAllMen kind of pointless?
Almost every woman has faced some kind of sexual harassment or abuse in her life. Doesn’t that make #NotAllMen kind of pointless?
#NotAllMen
Aren’t we all familiar with this hashtag? Every time a crime against women gains a slot on a news channel or trends on social media, the first reaction we see in the comments is men putting up #notallmen.
As a feminist and a woman, I find this extremely annoying. This is an open letter to all those men who are constantly pushing this propaganda forward.
First things first, yes, we KNOW #notallmen. We have all had the privilege of knowing a few good men. And we know good men exist, you don’t really have to shout it every time there’s a discussion about women’s safety.
Every time you shout #notallmen, you seem to be saying, ‘Not all men are bad. Don’t drag us, good men, into this discussion because the men who are to be blamed are a bunch of uneducated perverts. And don’t judge all the men by the work of a few sexually deviant and vile men.’
Is that what you’re trying to say?
If so, let’s do a social experiment. Go to any woman you’re close to – your mother, sister, daughter, colleague, friend, girlfriend, wife, or cousin. Ask her if she has been sexually harassed at some point of time in life. From catcalling to being slut-shamed to being groped in public places to hearing sexual language or jokes at work. Ask them about any major or minor event they remember.
I bet every single one of them will have a story to tell, most probably more than one story each. So according to your #notallmen theory all these women, all across the country, are harassed by that small bunch of sexually deviant men that you aren’t a part of?
Well then, they are doing a pretty good job of covering so many places in very little time. They’re like a weird version of Santa Claus.
Doesn’t this scenario seem (at least) a little improbable to you? Isn’t it probably time to admit that we need to educate men with things like consent, individuality and gender equality?
Maybe the hashtag could be #NotAFewMen? Or rather than putting up these hashtags, we could have proper sex education for everyone.
Then, maybe, one day in the future, our daughters will be able to step out of their houses without worrying about what they’re wearing. Maybe, then, they would be able to enjoy a night out with their friends, their purses light, without the pepper spray.
Picture credits: Still from Bollywood movie Ranjhanaa
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Chetan Bhagat had no business slut shaming Uorfi Javed or any other woman. If he wants to 'guide' young men in the 'right direction' then he should take accountability for his words.
Chetan Bhagat, one of India’s bestselling authors, thought it was an ingenious idea to slut-shame Uorfi Javed, an Indian actress and influencer, at the Sahitya Aaj Tak literature festival.
“Phone has been a great distraction for the youth, especially the boys, spending hours just watching Instagram Reels. Everyone knows who Uorfi Javed is. What will you do with her photos? Is it coming in your exams or you will go for a job interview and tell the interviewer that you know all her outfits? On one side, there is a youth who is protecting our nation at Kargil and on another side, we have another youth who is seeing Uorfi Javed’s photos hiding in their blankets.”
Uorfi Javed responded with a video on her Instagram stories calling out Bhagat’s bluff. She shared the screenshots of his previous chat conversations with Ira Trivedi, author and yoga instructor, which came to light during the #MeToo movement.
While boys are taught to naturally own the space they enter, girls are taught to give up, to accommodate, to adjust since "it is their primary responsibility to keep families and relations together."
Yesterday, I was watching these 4 young girls around 16 – 17 years old play badminton. They were having fun, goofing around with all 4 of them equally involved in the game.
In some time two of their male friends joined them, and as part of round robin, the 2 boys replaced two of the girls. All good.
As the play continued, I started noticing a change in the way the game was being played. The shuttle was played most of the times between the two boys and there was a sense of competition and aggression brought in. The other 2 girls playing soon starting losing interest in the game as they hardly got any game time. Even if the shuttle came towards them, the boy in their team would move and play that shot. They soon moved to the sidelines as the boys continued to play.
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