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Almost every woman has faced some kind of sexual harassment or abuse in her life. Doesn't that make #NotAllMen kind of pointless?
Almost every woman has faced some kind of sexual harassment or abuse in her life. Doesn’t that make #NotAllMen kind of pointless?
#NotAllMen
Aren’t we all familiar with this hashtag? Every time a crime against women gains a slot on a news channel or trends on social media, the first reaction we see in the comments is men putting up #notallmen.
As a feminist and a woman, I find this extremely annoying. This is an open letter to all those men who are constantly pushing this propaganda forward.
First things first, yes, we KNOW #notallmen. We have all had the privilege of knowing a few good men. And we know good men exist, you don’t really have to shout it every time there’s a discussion about women’s safety.
Every time you shout #notallmen, you seem to be saying, ‘Not all men are bad. Don’t drag us, good men, into this discussion because the men who are to be blamed are a bunch of uneducated perverts. And don’t judge all the men by the work of a few sexually deviant and vile men.’
Is that what you’re trying to say?
If so, let’s do a social experiment. Go to any woman you’re close to – your mother, sister, daughter, colleague, friend, girlfriend, wife, or cousin. Ask her if she has been sexually harassed at some point of time in life. From catcalling to being slut-shamed to being groped in public places to hearing sexual language or jokes at work. Ask them about any major or minor event they remember.
I bet every single one of them will have a story to tell, most probably more than one story each. So according to your #notallmen theory all these women, all across the country, are harassed by that small bunch of sexually deviant men that you aren’t a part of?
Well then, they are doing a pretty good job of covering so many places in very little time. They’re like a weird version of Santa Claus.
Doesn’t this scenario seem (at least) a little improbable to you? Isn’t it probably time to admit that we need to educate men with things like consent, individuality and gender equality?
Maybe the hashtag could be #NotAFewMen? Or rather than putting up these hashtags, we could have proper sex education for everyone.
Then, maybe, one day in the future, our daughters will be able to step out of their houses without worrying about what they’re wearing. Maybe, then, they would be able to enjoy a night out with their friends, their purses light, without the pepper spray.
Picture credits: Still from Bollywood movie Ranjhanaa
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My house-help asked excitedly, “I am going for wedding. Can you let me wear your red & black saree? To be honest I was stumped for a moment; I didn’t know what to say but I still said yes.
I lent a gorgeous saree to my house-help for a wedding in her family. Soon I stated getting questions if I would wear that saree again or if I was okay to be seen wearing the same saree my house-help was wearing?
We are all so conditioned to give our used clothes to our house-helps but are we okay to wear the clothes they were wearing?
A few days ago she came excitedly to me, “I am going for a family wedding. I want to wear your red & black saree, Ill wash and give it to you after the function. Please can you let me wear it?”
Sivaranjiniyum Innum Sila Pengalum (SISP) is an ode to all of the lost women, who could have been sports stars, singers, bankers, lawyers, doctors, just... happy, if they hadn't been enslaved in matrimony, and then forgotten all about.
One of the cool things about my mother was that she was an ace athlete and a champion sculler as a young woman in the 1950s and 60s. I only found out about this side of her a few years ago. I imagine her in a paavaadai dhaavani, taking on the mighty Kaveri river so many decades ago.
I recently watched a Tamil film anthology on SonyLiv that she would have liked to watch – Sivaranjiniyum Innum Sila Pengalum, (SISP) that has 3 stories of 3 different women – Saraswathi, Devaki, and Shivaranjini.
Like all the heroines in the anthology, my mother’s talents were sacrificed at the altar of matrimony. She pawned her gold medals and silver cups one by one to pay for expensive textbooks for us or a gift for a niece on her wedding, money for which she didn’t dare ask my father, because it was her niece… I remember how she caressed the cups and how her face hardened as she shoved them into her bag to take to the jewellers.
Feminism was never about male bashing, it was always about equality and empowerment. So can we quit throwing #NotAllMen at the feminists?
Okay this particular topic is so wholly sensitive that even while talking about it you should know that some are not gonna like it at all. Some are actually gonna like if they truly relate to your words. They will like it if they’re like minded people and could read in between every line. At the same time, it might violate certain perspectives or thoughts, but that shouldn’t mean you don’t speak at all.
Now that we’re surrounded with some 50 hashtags, each carrying its significance, one topic that never seems to get old yet controversial is ‘Feminism.’
While most hashtags serve a great purpose for online activism, these 12 hashtags are nothing but offensive and need to be put out of use!
When hashtags first came out in 2007 courtesy Chris Messina, who would’ve guessed they’d become a lasting and powerful means of activism in the world? Unfortunately, not all hashtags are created equal: where there exists a #MeToo, there also exists a #WhiteLivesMatter.
However, we are not a lost cause yet, are we? It’s beyond high time we show the door to regressive hashtags. Because they are not only tone-deaf, they also question our ability to evolve as a species. Without further ado, here are some of the most offensive hashtags that need to fade away into the ether right now.